I heard this statement yesterday from a tired, self confessed grumpy and disgruntled young man. ” It isn’t worth it”. He was talking about the extraordinary and exhausting effort to build and maintain relationships with a diverse group of people who all have different ideas, expectations and sometimes demands.
I can’t definitely respond to his statement other than to say ” I have had days like that. Where the transactions and tension of trying broke my spirit”. As I write this post, I recall that there were a number of conversations, this week, about what drains us and what charges us. The standard introvert/extrovert labels seem insufficient (maybe all labels are). I know I can do relationship stuff well; one on one, small groups, or big rooms and sometimes if the conversation and company is good I am charged by the time spent. On other occasions I am spent by the exercise and need time alone, just to think.
Self care requires that we know ourselves well enough and have figured out how to micro charge our psyche. I use running as a micro boost – 30 minutes alone inside my head exerting effort can be enough to give me another 8 hours of relational energy. Maybe a book, a walk, a meditation, a song, a podcast is his/your micro boost. Every day,you need to give yourself permission to schedule 20-30 minutes for a recharge. Another Bob ” easy to say, harder to so” but if you are reading this there is some trust between us so I give you permission to try it this the next time you feel yourself being drained.
Make Today Remarkable, by getting a boost,
PS Maintaining and building on our relationships is always worth the effort.