I realized this morning that I used the word disappointment in three different conversations over the last three days, I felt that my expectations in three completely different situations had not been met and I candidly expressed displeasure. All three circumstances were outside my control, philosophical and pragmatic and based in relationships. Upon reflection, I realize that I was imposing and projecting an implicit or tacit desire on individuals and situations that were bigger than me.
Can I wear the disappointment and not unfairly impose what I want done on other people? Am I at all justified in feeling dejected because my hope was rejected? Did I attempt to manipulate a relationship towards a favourable conclusion without considering barriers and goals of other organizations? Is disappointment valid if it isn’t expressed? What about if I ‘honestly’ express it?
I am learning and leaning towards honest communication but inside a different frame. ” I am disappointed in your decision” may not be as helpful or genuine as ” I am disappointed that we couldn’t find agreement” or ” I am disappointed but I want to understand your decision’.
I am not sure what I was actually attempting to achieve with expressing my disappointment – guilt? A change of heart? Another chance?
I do know that feeling disappointment and stating disappointment didn’t relieve or resolve what I was really feeling and it may have damaged the relationship and circumstances.
Thought?
Make It Your Problem 