Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Insignificant

In the grand scheme of things, I feel insignificant. On a planet with 7.5 billion people that has been spinning in our galaxy for 4.5 billion years amongst stars that are nearing their 14 billionth birthday, my 175.25 cm frame is a grain of sand. And yet, in my most important relationships, I mark a much larger space. I am making a dent in the lives of my clients and colleagues. I have a spot in the heart of friends, grandkids, children and my beloved. In my head, my delusions of grandeur can run wild. I can imagine that I am a giant among men.

So which image is true? Are all of them relatively real? Does it matter? In this time and place and under these conditions can I feel important and inconsequential simultaneously?

“We are more ready to try the untried when what we do is inconsequential. Hence the remarkable fact that many inventions had their birth as toys.” ~Eric Hoffer

When I learn to be quiet and comfortable in insignificance, the pressure to be a performer subsides. My mind stops swimming in rough waters and a tidal ebbs and flows set in. Floating without judgment washes away the toxicity that my ego and my competitive tendency create. Out goes the claim to fame, megalomania and space opens for gentleness and generousity. Without the desperate need to be acknowledged, I find self-awareness. As I rest, nudges towards a different shore begin like the current of a slow moving river. If, I allow myself to be carried rather than resisting because of an agenda, there is a possibility for learning. It takes determination not to rush to a conclusion. Instinct wants me to stake a claim to the island and say ” look at my great new thing”. The moment I name it, the tide ceases. I am learning to ride further and without anticipation, relish the distant shore where my self is rinsed and raised.

I return to my keyboard and peck and pound, hoping that the scratching finds and audience with a niggling realization that my very survival requires moments of delusion. Allowing the rhythm to be a natural element of my life saves me from fits of inferiority and rages of superiority.

Make Today Remarkable, by finding your insignificance,

B

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