Self Improvement · Original Thought · Uncertainty

Peer Pressure

When faced with the decision to research a subject, ruminate on the information, reflect on the consequences and form your own opinion or blindly accepting the collective fiction of a group, which do you choose? Does it matter if the subject seems significant? trivial? If the consequences are personal and material, do you resort to the easier approach or take a harder road?

Group think works because thinking is hard work. Comprehending an appropriate question and choosing a credible source of information are skills that we have stopped practising.  My greatest strength is my ability to synthesise disparate ideas. My greatest weakness is my ability to synthesise disparate ideas. Regardless, I tend to rush to a conclusion and if the destination at the end of a straight line is familiar, I will probably go where my eyes take me.

We are kept from our goal not by obstacles but by a clear path to a lesser goal.” ~ Robert Brault

The road less travelled is bound to be more challenging, more interesting and more scenic. I am heading out to Sundre Alberta this afternoon. I have made the trip hundreds of times and often vary the route. If I wanted to arrive in 1 hour and 7 minutes, the fastest course is to stick to the freeway (QE2). Traffic clips along at 120 km ph and on a Friday is bumper to bumper. My goal in heading away from the city is relaxation and mindfulness and if I speed along with the crowd, I arrive irritated and anxious. However, if I meander on lesser highways with a slower speed and considerably less traffic, I am able to take in the majesty of my surroundings and rather than getting stressed by the trip, I am relaxed and inspired by it.

pathway

If I am distracted by the shortest path; however, I measure that – least time, least effort, most familiarity, personal preference, invalid excuses, unrealistic fear I will always miss out on the journey and will probably arrive somewhere that I have already been but without the learning, preparation, or anticipation.

Make Today Remarkable, by resisting peer pressure posturing and embracing some originality,

B

 

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Are You a Segregationist?

bending willow

Are we practising segregationists? Segregation defined as the act or practice of segregating; a setting apart or separation of people or things from others. In the not so distant past, I surrounded myself with like-minded folks who held and espoused the same views of ideas, policies, and people. While a scary practice, it becomes critical and unhealthy when the like-minded crowd out everyone else and sound walls of similarity are constructed to keep ‘them’ and ‘their nonsense’ out of sight and sound. I was comfortable defining people by how they differed from me and couldn’t/wouldn’t consider making a crack in the wall to let the freshness of something new or different in.

I watched my tribe grow organically, like a Persistent organic pollutant (POP) defying any degradation of its power with stubbornness and vitriol. I used energy; kinetic, physical and emotional to hold different opinions at bay and resisted considering possibilities, even when I could feel the glimmer of dishonesty and see the light of inconsistency in my position. I set myself apart from others who were different and surrounded myself with folks who conformed to my ideals and confirmed my ideas. We were diverse in age, race, and economic conditions but marched in lockstep to policies and positions that we hadn’t necessarily given the proper consideration to.

My observation is that segregationists exist at all places on the political spectrum; left, right, and center. Ideology around religious, environmental, economic, and social fictions are strong regardless of race, creed, ethnicity, gender, age. We all draw close to people who ‘do things the right way’. We like people who are like us. and consequently and unfortunately we don’t easily like people who aren’t like us; unless we make a concerted and committed effort.

The effort to openness is enormous. We have been shunning those who are different from us (in any/many ways) for 70,000 years. When Homo Sapiens started creating community and culture they needed to create a common narrative – a Sapien fiction that allowed and justified unearned trust. As we began to live more complex and crowded lives, we redoubled the narrative. The Sapien fiction allowed them to usurp and probably slaughter other homo species of the day. Millenia later we are still separating ourselves, within one species, into groups based on the myths we tell ourselves about ourselves and the world we live in.

What would happen if we took a slightly different approach? What if we allowed a 10-degree reorientation to take place? If I was open to 10% of what makes someone else different from me, would I be a different person? better? yes. possibly.

When I am willing to shift 10 degrees from my stubborn fiction and the person in front of me shifts the same, we have less distance between our stories and might be close enough to see where they overlap.

Imagine a centrist Democrat ( Jack) meeting a centrist Republican (Jill). Under most circumstances, they may not give each other the time of day on issues of health care, taxation, or immigration. If Jack shifts their position towards Jill’s by 10 degrees and she does the same, they may both realise that they want what is best for most people and only differ on tactics. Once the chasm narrows, there seems to be greater willingness to listen, if not appreciate to someone else’s opinion. Curiousity to understand builds bridges while asking questions in order to overpower builds walls.

How do I more consistently become an integrationist? How do I hold strong views strongly and still be willing to hear other fictions? Maybe this fable by Dorothy Colleen is a guide.
The Oak and the Willow, a fable
In a field, there was an oak at one end, and a willow-tree at the other.

Whenever a wind moved through the field, the willow swayed in the wind, while the oak remained unmoved.

When this happened, the willow said to itself, “I wish I was as strong as the Oak, instead of bending over with every breeze“ then one day a large windstorm whipped through the field.

When the storm passed, and the darkness lifted, the willow looked across the field, and was shocked to discover that the oak was laying on the ground, broken. When the Gardener came into the field, the willow said, “Oh sir, what happened to the Oak? How is it that I survived the storm, weak as I am, and the Oak fell?”

The Gardener said, “Oh little willow-tree, do you not understand what happened? When the winds blow, you bend with them, while the oak remains still. So when a really powerful wind comes along, you can bend with the wind, and survive it. But the Oak cannot bend, and so if the wind is strong enough, it will break. For the Oak had a secret, a weakness within that no one looking at the outside could see. And the Gardener went on his way, leaving the willow to ponder what he said.

Moral: Strength within and strength without are not the same, and one should cultivate strength within first. Also, when the winds of life blow, bend, and you may survive the real storms when they come. Try and resist them, and when the real storms come, you may break instead.

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Dare to Fail

 

mistakesIf I am not making at least three mistakes a day, I am not trying. My greatest opportunities are waiting for me to have the courage and willingness to attempt them. The least I can do is step up to the plate and swing the bat. Sometimes I will foul off a curveball and learn to be more patient. On occasion, I will whiff on some high heat and gain some perspective regarding the challenge and some skills I need to develop. In a few instances, I will get hit or brushed back and end up on my butt looking foolish but if I get back up and step back into the box, I get another appearance at the plate. If I put my head down and slink off to the dugout, after striking out, I have missed the chance to improve, innovate and endure.
I am generally active in my world for 16 to 18 hours a day. If I take lots of swings and only whiff at a one every 5 to 6 hours, I am missing my share at the plate. Yesterday I wrote something rude and inane in an attempt at humour, I quoted the wrong James brother in an attempt to convince (and was corrected), I blurted out a thesis that I hadn’t thought through (as an extrovert, I do this many times a day) while trying to understand, in an effort to be curious I asked an impertinent question (without understanding my insensitivity). I wrote 750 words in an ongoing chapter, most of which turned out to be crap – but there is one sentence that has possibilities. I met 4 new people and all of them were generous and supportive about a ‘big idea’ that I shared with them and I was interested and present as they recounted what they are working on.
I ran in the rain, laughed with a stranger, ate with a friend, slept well and dreamed hard. The last sentence weren’t risks or mistakes but not that long ago they would have been unusual. I took steps to make them possible and now they seem familiar rather than odd.
A speaker yesterday, suggested that we need to let out crazy ideas out because they just might work. I have no shortage of absurdity wrestling for space in my head and now I have been given permission to give voice and action to more of it. If 3 out of 10 turn out to be viable and feasible, I will be thrilled with that average. If 1 in 100 is a home run, I still get to run the bases one more time than someone who is sitting in the stands watching the game being played by others. If my timing is right and my idea scores for me but also adds remarkable value to the efforts of three other crazy folks, then we are on our way to achieving another reason to celebrate our teamwork,
Even if I don’t clear the bases 99/100, the one grand slam is still exhilarating.
What risks can you take this morning? tomorrow? this week? Are you willing and maybe excited with the freedom and permission to make mistakes? Would you be willing to create a “My Mistakes” journal and record all the times that you pushed the envelope and had it tear? Would you commit to celebrating the 1/100 big success and commit to learning from the 99 stumbles?

If you have the confidence and courage to shake up your days, your week, your life and rattle some cages, leave a comment or contact me at bob@remarkablepeople.ca and we will figure out how we can connect and support each other.

Make Today Remarkable, by trying enough scary stuff so that you fail three times,
B

“If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”  ~ John Wooden
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”  ~ George Bernard Shaw
“I think it’s important for scientists to be a bit less arrogant, a bit more humble, recognising we are capable of making mistakes and being fallacious – which is increasingly serious in a society where our work may have unpredictable consequences.”
~ Robert Winston

“You have to change your life for yourself, and it’s about the fun of getting there – sitting in the tour van, breaking down on the side of the road, you know, having a laugh with the guys in the band, making mistakes with nobody watching.” ~ Imelda May

Original Thought · Uncertainty

Less Focus and More Attention

 

involved

My importance is only perspective. When I think that I am the center of the universe (or you do), it is only because of where our attention is focused. If I stare at a dot on a paper the surrounding white space shifts so that my concentration is on the spot.
If I focus on the negative impacts that I see from the actions of a world leader, it becomes my topic of discussion, where I spend intellectual and kinetic energy and impacts my mood. Where I place my attention nudges my ideation and action. If I am trying to find a poverty reduction strategy and it is my focus then I miss any opportunity that a prosperity creation strategy could add. If I wring my hands about the news regarding the Paris Climate Accord and the discord around the decision, I might miss the lessons that can be learned from new collaborations and strategies.
Focus is important when undertaking tasks like scuba diving, rock climbing or hang-gliding (life and death in the balance) but only seeing my nose or navel in more complex circumstances leads to missed opportunities.

Today I am going to notice the world around me; the things that rile me, the things that resonate with me and the things that rattle me but I am also going to watch for the stuff that is obscured by too much attention.

Make Today Remarkable by broadening your horizons,

B
Tomorrow; You do have a religion/philosophy even if you can’t name it

Original Thought · Self Improvement

Wow, Wow, Wow!

I had a breakfast meeting today and at the end of the hour, she said: ” I dare you not tp be wowed”. The circumstances, she was referring to were clear and when we got to the appointed wow point, I certainly was wowed.

When was the last time that you allowed yourself to be awed? Have you been blown away by something in the last six months? Have you heard someone tell a story that blew your mind? Did you read an essay, a story, a book that left you changed?

Or are you cynically reserved in your response to the world around you? Do you expect to be astonished? Are you willing and able to be filled with amazement? What are you waiting for? Isn’t life meant to be joyously and lavishly enjoyed?

awe

I am open to being impressed (not easily) often. I am committed to keeping my eyes open to wonder. When I look for it, it rises up and surprises me in ways that two minutes before, I wouldn’t have imagined. When I am inspired early in the day, I am inspired often throughout the day. Wow seems to beget wow. In a state of awe readiness, I am more aware and appreciative.

Not coincidentally, I am also more ready to be a source of awe. The work I do is better to best when I have been lifted by beauty, majesty, creativity and surprise. Rigid gives way to curious. Yesterday frees up a different tomorrow. Ambiguity celebrates and status quo retreats. As yet unimagined directions and original animations to long-standing questions or issues arise. When my work is better to best (rather than mediocre to good), I witness excellence more often (in myself and others).

Like so many things; trust, love, courage, allowing myself/ourselves to be amazed is a choice that gets easier the more often to choose it and the rewards magnify with each instance.

Are you ready to be amazed? Choose to be wowed, this afternoon, I dare you.

Make Today Remarkable,

B

fiction · Original Thought

Can You Experience My Story?

Just by imagining what you experienced as you tell me a story about seeing a black bear while hiking in Kananaskis Country, Alberta, my mirror neurons fire as if I was on the trek with you. The better you tell me the story, the more I ‘live’ the experience. We are wired to engage with stories and yet we pretend to be concerned with ‘facts’.
If I share a story, I hope to engage you. The more often I tell it, the more often I engage with it. My memories are from my perspective and distance and time can create challenges if veracity and validation are important. I have been writing a piece called Faded Recollections for a couple of years and some of you would have read excerpts in the past. I share this chapter as a way of hopefully reinforcing my thesis that you can share the experience if the story is well crafted. As always, your thoughts, impressions and candor are welcome.

Powerful to Powerless
Did the silence mean it was going to happen again? If I held my breath, would time stop?

After hours of clinking glasses and men laughing, the party, upstairs, came to a sudden halt. He was visiting from wherever he came from and the Pilsner or Bohemian and cigarettes always came with him. Crude jokes, a couple of punches and arm twists, a dollar and the big bottle of red wine followed. The man made my father laugh – no one did that anymore. His visits were the highlight of his year.

Darkness covered the corner of the basement where a curtain defined my bedroom. What time was it? Midnight? Would he be too drunk? Too tired? Tonight? I pressed myself against the concrete wall and pulled the covers over my ears. The cocoon was so small, maybe I could disappear tonight. Maybe I could transform into a superhero.

Superheroes didn’t feel this much fear. Superheroes fought back regardless of a 100 pound weight difference. Superheroes didn’t need their parents to fight their battles, even when they are 9 years old. Tonight I was going to fight back. I was going to say “No, no, no”. Tonight I was going to scream. Tonight I was going to stab him through his heart.

A light at the top of the stairs went out and the shadows crept away. The steps on the treads shifted from stomps to tiptoes. The sanctuary curtain was torn open and disappeared. Not in the world but in my head. I wasn’t here. I wasn’t helpless. I wasn’t abandoned. This didn’t happen again.

I was 6 the first time I remember Roy visiting Regina or the first time I remember him at our house. He was always around my aunt’s house in Saskatoon. “Wanna play catch?” “Let’s go to the park” ”Would you like a chocolate bar?” My cousins never went with him. They were always busy or out of sight or in the bathroom. O’Henry, baseballs and swings. Roy always had time for me. “ “You are becoming a little man, aren’t you”. “ Climb up on my lap and I will tell you another story”. One gold tooth, sweat, and tales of headless horsemen.

I think he did some kind of work with my uncle, maybe painting, or pounding, or lifting or grunting. Something for those sausage fingers and rough hands to squeeze and pull and push and caress. Man work where you didn’t need to ask if you could, you just knew you could. Start a job, finish it. “ money in your pocket let you do whatever you wanted to do”.

My dad didn’t really like anyone but he seemed to really like Roy. He didn’t talk about much other than football. “ If God made cows then we are supposed to eat them – with mashed potatoes and gravy”. “The government needs to teach kids reading, writing, and rules”. “ We have a little bit set aside to buy a truck but things are tough”. Roy drew him out. They shared something from their past but I never knew what it could possibly be. Mutt and Jeff, Laurel and Hardy, Jekyll and Hyde and yet they fell into each other’s company, bear hugging, catcalling and baboon laughing. Between visits, my dad sank back into a silent stupor with occasional outbursts and roars. Work, beer, sleep, work, beer, sleep, … until Roy graced the back door with chaos and mayhem on his shoulder. I loved the light he brought. Garlic, sweat, dirt, shone from his pores and everything was instantly and temporarily brighter, lighter. Twinkle, twinkle eyes, crooked man smile, and always a secret to be shared or never to be told.

In those days, everyone looked back with nostalgia. “ Will it ever be a simple as when we were kids?” “Remember the time we went swimming at the Red Bank and Charlie got caught skinny dipping by Sister Anna.” “ A deck of smokes used to be 35 cents”. Safety, sanity, silliness and no responsibilities. Life was better then and wouldn’t be better tomorrow. Things could never be the same.

Breakfast, school, cartoons and lunch, school, playground, supper, back alley, sleep, breakfast, school, cartoons and lunch, school, playground, supper, back alley, sleep …. Me and Brian.

When you don’t know what poor is, you aren’t. Ladders turned into sailing ships, trees into fortresses, sticks were swords or guns or spears and playgrounds were where kids shared secrets, surprises, and challenges. Street lights coming on signaled something different – no need for shouting “Billy”, no cell phones, no worried parents. Just streetlights coming on and dozens of kids racing home.

Dreams were simple, sweet, safe and if scary not so scary as to make you wet the bed. Exhaustion, growth, and youth brought 8 hours of sinking deeply into a soft mattress, cool sheets, warm blanket and a new day – much like the others but with a promise of adventure and unknown.

Once you stop being curious, once you know too much, the promise fades and then is gone. Night just brings morning and day brings more of the same. Stealing candy, curiosity and dreams. Hope glimmers for a while. Trust tries to press through. Love is seen but not felt. “I need to get up every morning and get out into the world and keep looking for the secret, keep looking for a time to share it, keep hoping that someone will ask. Running helps, rhythm and breathing stops my brain from returning. When my legs are churning forward, I can’t go back. At 1 mile the veil lifts and light peeks in. 2 miles and heat rises from inside and warmth on my face is understood. Beyond 3 miles anxiety returns as the awareness of the end gets closer. I can’t run forever but maybe for an hour. I can pull a Houdini again this afternoon or this evening and on Thursday. Keep running.

He would catch me some day. I knew the bastard was behind me, getting closer. He was near enough that I could feel his breath chasing me down. His panting wasn’t laboured but enjoyed. His body was strong and soon he would reach the end. 1 mile, 2 miles 3 miles – darkness. Powerful to powerless.

Original Thought · Self Improvement

I Know, Does She?

Power and privilege are interchangeable as the ladder and the wall that allows some to climb higher than others. Sometimes, the support is the wall of power that defends the ladder that infers license to wield additional power. My array of pretentious permits; race, gender, age, education, confidence, place of birth, time of birth, wealth all conveys unearned and unwarranted perceptions (both internal and external) of where I fit in relation to others. I can deny, ignore, undermine, or accept the condition and/or choose to deny, ignore, undermine, or accept the responsibility that comes with the state. Power and privilege can be a destructive and abusive force but it can also be an equity building mechanism if used as a strength to strengthen others. If someone with power agrees to either use their influence to reshape the landscape or willingly demonstrates that they are able to share power or is compelled to cede to authority (a different brand of power, equally susceptible to corruption), then the dynamic can create a semblance of equity.

Education and intrinsic knowledge are the great levelers and are the most difficult to distribute across birthright barriers (or any other concession advantage). Can we go much beyond creating infrastructure? Public education serves as a conduit to the egalitarian expression of opportunity but genetics, socioeconomic realities, parental involvement, peer influence, resource availability, familial and kinship experiences, and expectations have an impact on the how widely the opportunity is accepted and exploited. Imagine that two students of equal ability but from widely different homes are provided with the necessities of learning; same school, same teacher, same curriculum and same cohort. They have the same attendance (nearly perfect) and the same disposition towards classroom learning. One student has parents that have attended and graduated from university who work white color jobs and are home for supper every evening. The household is relatively quiet, well appointed, and has an Internet-ready computer. The second student’s parents both work two part-time jobs in the service sector and struggle to earn enough to maintain their rental accommodations and pay all their bills. While they try to provide a good model, they are usually working before the student rises and don’t get home until 8 or 9 pm. The home has an older computer without the ability to connect to the Web.
While the public playing field is level, the private has barriers and embedded disadvantages.
One child will likely acquire more knowledge, better grades, and have a richer understanding of the importance of post-secondary education. He will have access to better employment opportunities and his knowledge (and society’s admiration) will add to a power imbalance.

This wandering, wondering post began when a question about knowledge popped into my head a week ago. Is epistemology always privileged? The summary of my meanderings is above and my conclusion is that always is too strong a qualifier. But, there is a definite advantage to having knowledge and the ability to learn. The imbalance magnifies through each life-stage and may be insurmountable by high school.

Under our current equality frame, I can’t imagine a solution. In an equitable model, where each student received what they need, we may be able to offset disadvantages but populist pressures seem opposed to anything resembling equitable treatment.

I can only do what I can do, we can only do what we can do. What I have figured out is that I have some skills and abilities (as do you) that would be an asset to one student. I have or could easily acquire mobile Internet access. I can read and comprehend difficult material and can share my understanding in one-on-one volunteer tutor sessions. I can encourage the young people in my life to demonstrate that they care by ‘helping’ a fellow student.

Is this a perfect solution? No, or at least not yet. Would or could a bureaucracy create and sustain a better solution? Likely not. Would we be a better community, city, country if we cared enough to involve ourselves in each other’s lives? Definitely.

Make Today Remarkable for someone else,

B

Original Thought · Uncertainty

Warning – Rant Ahead

I often feel compelled to comment on the state of the world or the news of the day. I recognize that by opinion and my interpretation is personal and based in the sum of my experiences, education, and other biases. Most days I resist the urge to use this platform and share my outlandish views on social media and in speaking opportunities. This is mostly to honour the unwritten agreement that I have with subscribers to Make it Your Problem. For long time readers, you will have recognized dozens, maybe hundreds of times that I stepped into the fray and ranted away. Let this introduction serve as a disclaimer – if you don’t want to hear my latest rave, it would be best to exit this page and head over to my Patreon site for something completely different.

pof

 

The headline reads ” President Suffers Third Degree Burns When his Trousers Spontaneously Ignite.” The rant is regarding alternate truth and what we are to do when someone we need to trust disregards the facts and says whatever serves his self-serving agenda. Do we say ” Oh, that’s just Donald.” Should we continue to ignore everything that flows from his lips? Can we hold up a light and shine truth on his statements? What could/would we achieve?

To be clear, not everything that is spoken is a lie, and not everything that turns out to be false is a lie either. When, he/we misspeak and are careless about how he / we tell a story, it may be wrong, but without malice aforethought, it is just bad practice and poor preparation. But there comes a time when the glaringly ridiculous isn’t negligent but rather malicious. When the statement is meant to manipulate and deceive, forgiveness and concessions shouldn’t be available.

The line was crossed with mean-spiritedness in statements about Mexican rapists, 911, NATO commitments, wiretapping, Russian involvement and election fraud. Reputable officials and appointees as well as media have continued to discredit conspiracy theories, self-aggrandizing assertions, and ‘woe-is-me’ whining.

Back to the question ” What do we do?”. I wish, we could just ignore the diatribes but the ramifications and consequences that these may have would mean that I am dangerously naive to ignore the message and therefore the messenger. Holding him and his utterings to a lower standard is a disservice to the country, the planet and ourselves and the danger is still that they inflame and conflate tension and do nothing to bring back a level of hope and truth.
So, by my reckoning, we are left to challenge the recklessness with all ammunition at hand. We have a voice, in face-to-face conversations. We have an audience in our blogs, podcasts and social media channels. We have friends and colleagues that we can recruit to speak their voices. With the power we have there is a responsibility to exercise good judgement and check the veracity of our message. A lie that is meant to defeat a different lie only serves to perpetuate the downward spiral.
If you read something, see something, feel something check it against at least three disparate sources before you forward, retweet, or share in any form.
It may be prudent if we return to Descartes 17th century Method before creating personal havoc by haranguing with only suspicions.
1. The first precept is never to accept a thing as true until I know it as such without a single doubt.
2. Divide each difficulty into as many parts as is feasible and necessary to resolve it.
3. The last rule is to make enumerations so complete, and reviews so comprehensive, that I should be certain of omitting nothing.

After working through the Cartesian process, I/we should be capable of creating with brevity and clarity (and humour if possible), a well reasoned and compelling rebuttal that makes sense to and resonates with our specific audience.

I can’t be sure that I won’t go flying off the deep end and react to something that I believe to be inaccurate or venomous or even mischevious. I will attempt to hold myself to a higher standard of verification and thought. I will try to hold the importance of truth over the urgency of being heard. I will do my best to gather information, data, and opinion from a variety of sources with a variety of positions. I will use my voice to shine a light when I have done my diligence. I won’t ignore and I won’t minimize.

As Edmund Burke said, and JFK restated, “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

B

Original Thought · Uncategorized

Memories

Blink and it is gone. The fleeting moment of 7 seconds ago is chased by the hurtling moment 7 seconds ahead. We hold ABCDEFG at once and then A is gone to the past and H is rolling forward. The pace of time ticks on and without holding onto the now and filing some rendition of it away, we find our minutes, hours, days and years spent without value or purpose. Memories are the economy of experience without which life has no currency.

140seconds

Our memories can represent numerous meanings of the word currency.
According to Miriam Webster;
Currency
a : circulation as a medium of exchange
b : general use, acceptance, or prevalence <a story gaining currency>
c : the quality or state of being current : currentness <needed to check the accuracy and currency of the information>
d : something (as coins, treasury notes, and banknotes) that is in circulation as a medium of exchange
e : paper money in circulation
f : a common article for bartering <Furs were once used as currency.>
g : a medium of verbal or intellectual expression < … neither side possessed any currency but clichés … — Jan Struther>

My memories act as a repository and a filter for the life I have led and a shimmering lens to the highest and best tomorrow. They contain and create truth, marketing both to my ego and anyone else who will listen. They become the chapters and volumes of the Book of Bob and in modern parlance ‘they fabricate my brand’.

As the story develops and is retold, by me and those who have heard them they begin to seem plausible and possible. When I remember a meeting with a colleague and relate the experience to them on the next encounter, it infiltrates their story just as their recounting finds room in mine. We both remodel and adapt and accept the altered version as today’s truth.

The moment I recognize as now slips past so quickly that I would miss it if I didn’t shape it as part of a bigger picture. William James gave currentness years of thought as he raced ahead of his world. His brother Henry once said, after his passing; ” William is always around the next corner.” He mused ” Time itself, comes in drops”. or in fuller exposition; “All our sensible experiences, as we get them immediately, do . . . change by discrete pulses of perception, each of which keeps us saying ‘more, more, more,’ or ‘less, less, less,’ as the definite increments or diminutions make themselves felt. . . . [All our sensible experiences] come to us in drops. Time itself comes in drops. (PU 104)” His thesis seems to suggest that only the current memory can quench the thirst for understanding, but only for a discreet pulse ( a drop).

‘I don’t know if this really happened but I know it is true’ a paraphrase from Marcus Borg’s post-modern apologetics suggests that memories (stories) can be profoundly true without being factually true. It is in that ether that we construct our reality – a recipe of factual, literal, and imagined to concoct save our sanity and a delicious cake that we can offer to those who are proximate and intimate.

What we use as a token of exchange, either memories or money are merely and intrinsically a social agreement. I accept your story and assimilate it into a trust matrix that I use to decide whether to share some of my life and time with you. Or, I receive your script or a digital version as remittance for goods or services and complete the transaction because we have agreed that the $, €, £, ៛, ₽, that we trade has some value that is factual, literal and concocted. In either case, if the agreement fails, the transaction ends without satisfaction.

Sitting around a campfire, standing at a water cooler, or in a pulpit, applying for a job, courting a lover is an exercise in bidding, accepting, and rejecting. We barter for relationship, status, position, power, and love with the memories we share and the clarity we imagine and bring to our storytelling. If my memory tales align with yours, we begin a dance. You offer a version of an event and I add or adapt to it and offer some of it back. When I say ” I love you” and hear ” I love you, too”, my understanding is framed by how I have experienced love in the past and how I desire to feel it in the future. Your words are interpreted through my arbitrary moment in time position that is informed by my recall, recognition and reflection and my unspoken desire to be loved.
Back and forth the stories go and for some, an agreeable, intimate, long-lasting relationship develops.

My ego and delusions of grandeur are both a great asset and a devastating liability. I assume my memories and their articulation exist to be a medium of verbal or intellectual expression, cherished by all who hear them. I realize that the 1000ish words of this post offer my intellectual expression, somewhat convoluted by the act of writing and the fact of reading and the faculty of recalling. My fallibility can seem either charming or troublesome because your memories, your ego, and your delusions play into the understanding; factual and interpretive, of the exchange. I trust and expect that some of this will resonate and some will provocate and I am okay with both. I would be distressed if it fell flat.

Make Today Memorable,

B

Original Thought · Uncertainty

CLEAR the Way

clear

 

The past is a different beast from the future if you choose to make changes. Today, you get to imagine a preferred future. It can be something personal; a different job, better health, a stronger relationship or learning something new. Make the preferred goal as CLEAR(r) as possible. Is it Consistent with your values? Can you Learn to be proficient? Are you Eager to attempt the task? Is it Achievable in a reasonable timeframe? Are you Ready to Risk? Unfortunately, this isn’t one of those times when taking small steps will suffice. To get from a current state to your best future means CLEAR and it also means “I am all in”.

Most of our frustration with yesterday and anxiousness about today rests in the decisions we are making that either consciously or unconsciously create dissonance with stated or espoused beliefs about the world. To live in congruence, we need to intentionally reflect on our choices and where necessary act to change the chosen path.

Stagnation; the sense that our life has us trapped in a rut or worse seems utterly meaningless is a result of our curiousity dying. For goals to have any impact they can’t just be same-old-same-old. We need to be open to learning new experiences, try new approaches and meet new people.

Have you reached the bottom or are close enough to realize that it is just around the corner. Has the current state brought you to a realization that something, everything needs to change? Is now the time? If you are eager to see your life change, you can use that energy to create stretch goals.

Now that you are an avid changemaker, I need to draw you back to what is doable, for you, in a reasonable time, with the resources available. This caveat isn’t meant to restrict the very best you can be but rather should garner a response from you ” if I can get this done, I can do a lot more.”

The double R’s; Ready and Risk are where most people fail. They can either say they are ready and don’t risk anything or take on dangerous risks without being ready. When your goals are consistent, learning focused, enticing, and achievable then you are ready to get ready. My serious action bias often makes me jump without considering the outfitting it will take to survive the jump. Being ready can be as simple as creating a checklist – 5-20 items that need to be on-hand before you execute. Without over-preparing and ending up in analysis paralysis, take the minimally viable approach to planning. Now had Risk by taking one more step in the chain without the gear you might need and see where you land.

A coach can help with the in between steps and the stumbles in CLEAR9r) goal setting but don’t be surprised by what you are capable of achieving on your own.

CLEARly Make Today Remarkable for you,

B