Tag: ability

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Happiness

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I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. ~ Martha Washington

I have been following Gretchin Rubin’s blog and podcast through her last two books ” The Happiness Project” and ” Better Than Before” On her blog , in 2009, she wrote “I’ve noticed that people often assume that everyone enjoys the same activities that they enjoy, because they believe those activities are inherently enjoyable.” (There is also an interesting happiness quiz in this post).

happy

I somehow connect Martha and Gretchen’s thoughts to conclude that our disposition isn’t inherently consistent. We become what we see. We see what we seek. We seek what we think makes us happy. We are happy when we believe we are happy or if we believe we are happy then we are.

It is that simple and that difficult. Every day we get to go on an adventure of our choosing (either in our life or in our imagination or both). As we seek happiness, it manifests itself in new ways. If observant new people appear with a smile or a chuckle. If watching a scene of glee plays out in front of you. If careful, you will take in an opportunity, small or large, to brighten another’s day. If diligent you will find purpose for today, which is where true happiness resides.

Make Today Remarkably Happy, for someone else,

B

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Inspiration

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Last night we had the privilege of hearing Emma Hooper @waitress4thebees read from her novel ” Etta, Otto, Russell and James” (EOR&J)at Calgary Reads Big Book Club (BBC). I was given the opportunity to introduce Emma and I was gushing about the beauty and character of this début. Emma shared readings, stories and music with us. She talked about her writing process and a pretty weird publishing story. The evening was a success for Calgary Reads and I am sure more BBCs will be just as great.

Given the stage, Emma took the opportunity to share herself and some of her worldview. She said ” If you have ever said “I have always wanted to ….. go to Japan, learn to. Play the cello… The only thing standing in your way is you. Get up and do the I have always wanted to …” If you haven’t read EOR&J I recommend it with extreme prejudice – it is the first book in the past 20 years to unseat a book from my ‘desert island bundle of 5’. The worldview fits with the theme of adventuring and not knowing if this is your last great adventure.

For readers, you know that I am a proponent of change and risk and this gentle encouragement from Emma seemed to resonate with so many in attendance, I am anxious to see how we live out the challenge.

Make Today Remarkable, by going on an adventure,

B

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Turning a Deaf Ear

Bob McInnis5 Comments

After yesterday’s post, I received 5 emails from readers who said ” I don’t have any art to make”. This was sad and telling.

I am told, by my beloved,  that I can exhibit ‘selective hearing’ – only being aware of what I want to hear. This can be rude and hurtful if done with other people but may be helpful if you can hone it for conversations you are having with yourself.

What if my heart was screaming “say something, do something, this isn’t right” and I tuned  out the voice? If the gift of fear was warning me to “stay away from this scheme” and I ignored it, the consequences might be serious. “You are remarkable” comes into my head and I deny it. ” Bob, try again” is the encouragement I ignore.

It is tricky business selecting which of my voices I should honor and trust and which are the voices of procrastination, dishonesty, anxiety. How do I know it is anticipation speaking and not naivete?

Lewis Smedes says “Seeing reality for what it is is what we call discernment. The work of discernment is very hard.” It is hard  given the judgments of the world. Unless I can discern, I cannot be certain I am acting in the highest and best manner. “However, when I feel aware, expanded and full of love, I must be doing something right (and conversely, when I feel bored, impatient and regretful I am not listening to the highest voice).”~ Sal Rachelle

Discernment is an act of awareness, whereas judgment as an act of ego. Practicing discernment  is like everything else and contrary to the adage it doesn’t simply make it perfect. Practice only makes permanent, if there isn’t reflection and accountability. Doing this practice alone is possible but can be earned and learned more easily and more quickly with a coach. I know that I have been assisted by the wisdom, challenge and accountability of a formal coach and my clients have added remarkable value and insights  to their lives through feedback, accountability, courageous goals, tension  and some systems thinking.

As always, I am available and open to discussing how coaching might add value to your life. Contact bob@remarkablepeople.ca

Make Today Remarkable, by being aware rather than judgmental,

B

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What is Meaning?

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“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”

— From a speech John W. Gardner delivered to the Hawaii Executive Conference in Kona, Hawaii, in April 1993

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Spam, Cheese, Veggie Burger or Nuts

Bob McInnis10 Comments

As I near the end of month one in my commitment to write and post every day, I  wonder what the content is really about; really intended to do. Am I so vain as to believe that every phrase uttered by my mouth or pecked by my fingers is worthy of the ears of dedicated or disinterested readers? Is it all just to feed my ego that needs stroking, imagined or real? Am I just an eccentric old man? Yes,yes and yes.

But mostly I hope it is received as a provocation, a call to something different. I worry that we live in a world mired to our knees in mediocrity, settling for second/fifteenth best. If I don’t expect and demand more of myself, I feed the bland beige blur. Today I am considering how the platform of this blog and fadedrecollections.com could help reach the goals that all the posts this month pointed to. I haven’t discovered and answer but the struggle is better than complacency, isn’t it?

Seth Godin’s ” What to do When it’s Your Turn” and his longstanding practice of shipping daily set me on this journey. Maybe a reread is in order.

My request today is that if you have something to say, add it here and let me and other readers what is rumbling around your life.

Resist the Convenience.

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Mystery

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I knew I was in trouble when I made a statement, in a meeting, that I had no doubt to be perfectly crafted and assuredly true. There was a flash that lit up in my peripheral vision that had happened, and been ignored, a dozen times in the last week: A warning that I wasn’t heeding like high blood pressure.

I had become an expert again. The “Hi my name is Bob and I am an expert” kind of expert.  I was certain about everything, sure about my direction, completely confidence in my advise, remarkable in my coaching, and unbelievable in my consulting. I was the pearl in my own oyster – perfect.

Of course, none of that was real. Perception had trapped me again. I have been recovering from the curse of expertitis for 25 years but this bout seemed deeper and I was actually enjoying the spotlight even more than usual.

When I spend time with children, my grandkids in particular, I am reminded what the as yet unimagined has to offer. They zealously seek new ways of overcoming challenges. They embraced curiousity through sincere and outrageous questions. There is a zeal for exploration and risk that comes from a different confidence than the expert. They are confident that the world is theirs to explore and by turning everything on its head, they see the world anew.  My confidence was based in formulas, models, tried and true experiences, status quo. In today’s world where everything is changing, exponentially,  we all need to find the child’s position for a few hours a week. This isn’t just a provocation exercise, it serves as an innovation platform. You can launch your next ‘cool’ idea and watch it soar or sink without fear.

Take 4 hours this week (4/168 = 2.38%) to be open to curiousity, search out mystery and take something that you are so confident about and give it a good shake. I, for one, would be curious what flies out.

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Does it Matter if the Placebo Works?

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

I am reading Give and Take by Adam Grant while taking in the bright sunshine and sea breeze in Oceanside< California. Goodreads, description reads;
For generations, we have focused on the individual drivers of success: passion, hard work, talent, and luck. But today, success is increasingly dependent on how we interact with others. It turns out that at work, most people operate as either takers, matchers, or givers. Whereas takers strive to get as much as possible from others and matchers aim to trade evenly, givers are the rare breed of people who contribute to others without expecting anything in return.
I was taken by a line on page , that I read a few days ago and continue to ponder. “Teachers’ beliefs created self-fulfilling prophecies.” Grant is speaking about some remarkable professors, in particular CJ Skender and his approach to judging capability and Skender’s remarkable record of teaching, influencing and encouraging 100’s of medal winning students that have gone on to lead successful ventures. It reminded me of Henry Ford’s “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't–you're right.” that I think applies to those we are supporting, nurturing, encouraging, teaching, loving as well.
It got me pondering – who am I under valuing, under encouraging, under challenging in my life. I espouse regularly Thomas Jefferson’s assertion that “given the opportunity and circumstances, every American will take care of himself, his family, and his community”. I have used this in speeches, debates, writing many times and follow it with “ I believe everyone is more capable than they are given credit for”. Do I live out that prophecy? I think I do with my grandchildren, all children really and I feel like that was my approach with my kids, their friends, and students in my life. Do I still act on that belief? Are there important relationships where my assessment undermines people that I get to work alongside?
Are there people you love, you work with, you care for that you believe has limited capacity or ability? Are you creating a self-fulfilling prophecy for them? What would happen if you set higher expectations for them (yourself) and demonstrated that you believe they could be exceeded? Are you willing to raise the bar, with encouragement and confidence for the next month? January only has 11 days left, would you extend the power of positive beliefs to yourself and others for the rest of the month? I am going to give it a try and record my observations. I would be interested in what you discover. Please let us in on your findings, either here in comments or through email below.