Tag: capable

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What to Do in your 40’s

Bob McInnis1 Comment

If I knew then what I know now (or think I know) I would have done some things differently (maybe). This isn’t regrets (I have a few, but then again too few to mention). This is about offering encouragement to readers in the 30’s, 40’s and 50’s to take action to change your world earlier than I undertook. If you have personal goals for a distant future, don’t put off starting until a later date (usually when I have more time, have more money, have more energy, experience..) Excuses are poor reasons to not begin.

I am healthier today than 10 years ago, I am smarter today than 10 years ago and 10 minutes ago I have stronger relationships than yesterday and last century. I wasn’t intentional about these changes until the last 6 years. Every day my intentions rule my actions and inactions. Every day I have the choice to do things or not do things that make my life, my family, my world better. I am better intentionally recognizing the choices and imagining the impact.

If I knew then … I would have set significant long term goals and then putting in place 10 day landmarks, 100 day navigation points and 1000 day destinations for as many longer term aspirations as possible. The higher level discipline of intention and accountability towards something important (to you) will reap remarkable benefits when you are a decade older and another decade older …

Make Today Intentionally Remarkable,

B

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Move the Bar (part 1)

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“If we continue to manage social issues, social issues manage to continue.” ~ Bob McInnis

Managing a problem isn’t solving a problem. Helping people live better in their poverty isn’t lifting them out of poverty. Feeding children once a week isn’t the same as ensuring that their parents can feed them. Recycling plastic packaging doesn’t compare with eliminating it.

If we only look for bandaids, the fester wound will continue to seep and become infected. How can we boost the immune system so the cut will heal and never need another bandage? I know one of you is looking for the exception right now and asking “What about … there will always be … we can’t …” I may even agree with you that there are exceptions but we can’t/shouldn’t create action that is structured around the exception. Let’s move forward, learn, adapt and move again.

The make it your problem (MiYP) philosophy and practice expects each of us to do something. The first shift is in our own heads – we are all more capable, resourceful, resilient, passionate and willing than authorities give us credit for. I am, you are, the guy on the bus, the single mom, the senior, …, all of us are more capable. WE all bring assets to the table, to our lives, to our families, to our community. In order to restore we need to restory. Not fabricated, pie in the sky, rainbows and unicorns restorying but rather reframing, reflecting and restarting  new stories. Acknowledge where we are, how we got here, how we are culpable and what we could do differently, today. Get turned in a positive direction. If heading north isn’t bringing results, turn northeast or northwest. It might not take a complete change (maybe it will) but you can soon evaluate the course correction and adapt again.

Understand that you are capable of remarkable things, you have remarkable gifts, and then use your gifts to strengthen others.

Take 10 minutes today, (right now)(only ten minutes) and write 2 gifts that you bring and one action that you can take using either gift to change something that is bothering you. Make it your problem and do it. It can be as simple as saying something, moving something, giving something. You will get better at this. Watch what happens and learn. Take the weekend off (just this weekend) and repeat the 10 minute exercise and action on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday next week. On Thursday ask “Am I slapping on bandaids or healing the wound?” Adjust, try something else, talk with a friend.

Get your head aligned with your remarkable gifts, take action, observe, reflect, adapt.

I would love to hear your stories of remarkable changes and remarkable adaptation.

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Turning a Deaf Ear

Bob McInnis5 Comments

After yesterday’s post, I received 5 emails from readers who said ” I don’t have any art to make”. This was sad and telling.

I am told, by my beloved,  that I can exhibit ‘selective hearing’ – only being aware of what I want to hear. This can be rude and hurtful if done with other people but may be helpful if you can hone it for conversations you are having with yourself.

What if my heart was screaming “say something, do something, this isn’t right” and I tuned  out the voice? If the gift of fear was warning me to “stay away from this scheme” and I ignored it, the consequences might be serious. “You are remarkable” comes into my head and I deny it. ” Bob, try again” is the encouragement I ignore.

It is tricky business selecting which of my voices I should honor and trust and which are the voices of procrastination, dishonesty, anxiety. How do I know it is anticipation speaking and not naivete?

Lewis Smedes says “Seeing reality for what it is is what we call discernment. The work of discernment is very hard.” It is hard  given the judgments of the world. Unless I can discern, I cannot be certain I am acting in the highest and best manner. “However, when I feel aware, expanded and full of love, I must be doing something right (and conversely, when I feel bored, impatient and regretful I am not listening to the highest voice).”~ Sal Rachelle

Discernment is an act of awareness, whereas judgment as an act of ego. Practicing discernment  is like everything else and contrary to the adage it doesn’t simply make it perfect. Practice only makes permanent, if there isn’t reflection and accountability. Doing this practice alone is possible but can be earned and learned more easily and more quickly with a coach. I know that I have been assisted by the wisdom, challenge and accountability of a formal coach and my clients have added remarkable value and insights  to their lives through feedback, accountability, courageous goals, tension  and some systems thinking.

As always, I am available and open to discussing how coaching might add value to your life. Contact bob@remarkablepeople.ca

Make Today Remarkable, by being aware rather than judgmental,

B

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What is Meaning?

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“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”

— From a speech John W. Gardner delivered to the Hawaii Executive Conference in Kona, Hawaii, in April 1993

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You are Remarkable

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If you are reading this, you are remarkable. If you aren’t reading this you are remarkable. We are all far more capable and remarkable than we are given credit for or that we give ourselves credit for.

Remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen themselves and others. You can do that – right. Pick one thing, today, that you are good at and ask ” how can this be of value to me, my family or my community?” Then do it, just do it.

If you are stuck, pick one thing that you wish you were good and ask ” how would this be of value to me, my family and my community?” Then do it, and get good at it.

Waiting won’t produce results or strengthen others. Procrastinating doesn’t improve the world. Patience isn’t actually a virtue, in most cases. Strive to become an impatient imperfectionist for the next 48 hours and see what happens. Maybe you will cause a stir, maybe you will stir the pot, or maybe you will stir some passion in your heart.

Make Today Remarkable, for someone you care about,

Bob

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Mystery

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I knew I was in trouble when I made a statement, in a meeting, that I had no doubt to be perfectly crafted and assuredly true. There was a flash that lit up in my peripheral vision that had happened, and been ignored, a dozen times in the last week: A warning that I wasn’t heeding like high blood pressure.

I had become an expert again. The “Hi my name is Bob and I am an expert” kind of expert.  I was certain about everything, sure about my direction, completely confidence in my advise, remarkable in my coaching, and unbelievable in my consulting. I was the pearl in my own oyster – perfect.

Of course, none of that was real. Perception had trapped me again. I have been recovering from the curse of expertitis for 25 years but this bout seemed deeper and I was actually enjoying the spotlight even more than usual.

When I spend time with children, my grandkids in particular, I am reminded what the as yet unimagined has to offer. They zealously seek new ways of overcoming challenges. They embraced curiousity through sincere and outrageous questions. There is a zeal for exploration and risk that comes from a different confidence than the expert. They are confident that the world is theirs to explore and by turning everything on its head, they see the world anew.  My confidence was based in formulas, models, tried and true experiences, status quo. In today’s world where everything is changing, exponentially,  we all need to find the child’s position for a few hours a week. This isn’t just a provocation exercise, it serves as an innovation platform. You can launch your next ‘cool’ idea and watch it soar or sink without fear.

Take 4 hours this week (4/168 = 2.38%) to be open to curiousity, search out mystery and take something that you are so confident about and give it a good shake. I, for one, would be curious what flies out.

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Completion

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What are you deeply devoted to completing today? On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being completely committed, where are you? If you aren’t at 10 what will it take to get to 10?

Is there something that you have been putting off, procrastinating about, but needs your utmost attention?
We all make lists (at least I imagine everyone else does too) and then cherry pick the easy stuff and transfer the frogs to tomorrow’s list. Take a look at your list for today (or make a list) and rank your commitment 1-10 for each item. Now tackle the biggest challenge first. Whatever you need to do to make this assignment your priority; remove obstacles, write the first line, run the first 500 meters, pick up supplies or whatever excuse you are using should be bitten off.

One of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe’s most famous quotes ends ” Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now” While inspirational it isn’t all that helpful.
I think the beginning of the passage “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” makes sense of the begin it now challenge.

That is why your commitment needs to be 10/10, so hesitancy doesn’t wrap its warm blanket around your shoulders. It isn’t quite as simple as saying you are completely (10/10) committed but almost. Accountability and practice will improve execution to 100% over a very short time. Holding yourself accountable -good or having someone hold you to account – better will make your statement a self fulfilling prophecy. Not stating your firm deeply held conviction can fulfill a different and dangerous self perpetuating prophecy.

Make Today Remarkable by committing completely.

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Strengthen Others

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Remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen themselves and others.

Every day we are offered opportunities to do what we do well to improve ourselves and those around us. Mostly we miss the opportunity because we are focused on urgent rather than important. Strength training requires commitment and focus. For 24 hours practice being mindful of the present – live in the moment. Take time to appreciate the situation you find your self in and ask ” Is there something I know, I have, I can do that will make this better?

Make Today Remarkable for someone you don’t really know.