Tag: commitment

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Flowers Grow in the Dark

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flowers

Daffodils, pansies, asters and even roses may not be appreciated on dull gray days or at night, but they continue to be there, and they continue to offer their inspiration and beauty.

The title of this post comes from a line in Rebecca Solnit’s “Hope in the Dark.” As I was commuting this morning, I was listening to Chapter 21 and was shaken by the reference to flowers. It was a bright morning, and the majesty of the wildflowers along the pathway was easy to spot but having returned home late at night along the same route, I started wondering if they were blooming with such glory after the sun went down.

After a bit of research, or what we consider research today, I discovered that while not entirely correct flowers do continue their growth process regardless of the light conditions.

How well do I stand up to that test? When things are going well, my motivation is high, and I can border on mania. I am productive, creative, cordial, strong, smart, and likable.  When a dark spell sets in, either externally created or internally generated, I don’t do as well. But this is when shining is the most necessary. How can I be the best version regardless of the conditions? How can I become agnostic about my surroundings and internal pathology?

For regular readers, you know what I am going to posit. I must choose to plow through, climb over, go around the obstacles (weather, resources, people, me) and intentionally keep moving forward towards today’s goal that leads towards the higher level goals in my life. I will still falter and fail. I will continue to mope under certain conditions, but if I lay my intention – ‘to continue forward” on the table in front of me, I know that I will continue my growth process.

Take a look at the flowers today, breathe them in so they are captured on or tongue, in your nose and as a part of your memories so you can find them again when darkness sets in. Then be courageous and keep moving towards your goals.

B

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Its Up to You (believe it or not)

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Are you optimistic, pessimistic, neutralistic? Is the world abundant, scarce or three bears just right? Is your view of the world about how you perceive the truth, your disposition, and/or your experiences? I can find myself feeling ‘hell-in-a-handbasket’ like my father, my grandfather and I am sure on occasion my grandchildren or I can deliberately expect and demand a different perspective from myself and different results from the world. My tendencies are a matter of wiring and if I don’t want to continue wallowing in self-pity I can undertake to rewire my brain to observe the magic, beauty, and mystery alongside the tragedy, hatred and vitriol.

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For me, it begins with morning meditation. I use a guided application called “Simple Habits” and practice is the first activity I schedule after my feet hit the floor. It isn’t a spiritual exercise as much as a consciousness and mindfulness kick start. This morning’s meditation was about gratitude for discomfort and how the aches and pains I feel physically and emotionally are likely my body and brain attempting to protect me from additional harm. Without feeling the twinge in my left Achille’s tendon, I might run until something snaps. If I didn’t feel anxious, I might jump off the next cliff without some measure of investigation and reflection. If I didn’t feel regret for not saying something to a loved one in a time of trouble, I might become callous and distant.
I don’t have any chronic conditions that cause me distress do I am not sure how someone could feel grateful for that kind of infliction but I encourage you to take a moment to understand and appreciate your stress, aches, or anxiety. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in it and don’t just accept the situation if there are options to improve or dissipate them.

My tactics for reframing are ecological, entertaining, and explicit. If I want to change my patterns, thoughts or actions I need to be aware of the surroundings that I find myself in and the surroundings that fit with how I see the changed self I want to become. In order to be more grateful, I can’t be surrounded by ungrateful or selfish people. I need to be surrounded by light, love, and learning. I can’t continue doing the same things in the same places in the same way that brought me to the valley of distrust and disappointment. For the circumstances to change, I need to change my where and how and who. Escaping from stinking thinking is essential. It means that there are people in my life today that can’t be in my life tomorrow. There are places I need to stop going and actions that I must stop undertaking. We all have a preferred or imagined ecology that fulfills more of our aspirations and unfortunately, it won’t manifest itself. We need to seek it out through our actions.

I can be shallow and unfocused and unless the change process is fun, I know that I might retreat to the depths that I am trying to escape. Fun need not be onerous or expensive. Meeting with uplifting people for an activity, a meeting, a coffee, a walk will put a smile on my face even when or because the conversation is an adventure. I met with three friends this morning for ninety minutes and we ranged across the sublime and inane to the profound and debatable. We laughed, we shared, we disagreed and we hugged. We expressed our gratitude for each other and the time spent and booked another gathering for a month from now. I left inspired, thankful and challenged. The stimulus of camaraderie and conversation caused neurons to fire against my hippocampus and began nurturing new pathways.

My final tactic; explicit is really an e word for intentional. ( I love alliteration so much that I always trying to catch it in my lists – ecological, entertaining, and explicit). In my worldview, nothing happens organically. Or nothing will predictably happen without intention. I must invest my resources and time in creating a V2.0 or V11.5 of me and I need to be vested in the outcome.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

Make Today Remarkable, by choice,

Bob

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Original Thought · Self Improvement

We are What We Seek?

Bob McInnis2 Comments

Do we always attract that which we are dwelling on? If I am thinking serious thoughts about serious issues, do I find myself immersed in reading, writing and discussing serious thoughts or do those find me? Does it matter at all?

I am amazed by what I observe and understand when I allow my attention to focus on a specific subject, idea or relationship. The discoveries are bold and normal simultaneously. With my eyes, ears and heart wide open, I find an array of opportunities, possibilities and small treasures. Do I attract those good things or do they appear from an ether that my scattered mind has fabricated because it is feeling overwhelmed?

Is this evolutionary brain architecture? Or is it more like when I am on the 57th floor of an office tower, I only see the surroundings and people on that floor. I can imagine Jan on the 23rd, who I am meeting with tomorrow, and the great latte I am going to get at 10 am from the shop on the 2nd but unless I am dreading or lusting for either, my focus eventually gets pulled back to the immediate.

Do I imagine that I see more expectant mothers when someone I love is pregnant? Or am I committed to watching for maternity as I have seed of the process planted in my head and heart. Does it work like the Goethe quote that I have used here before (at least three other times)? “that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.”

Do I commit to the idea of motherhood, Jan or a latte and providence issues forth? There seems to be something in the imagination that can cause cascades if we choose to be open to her mystery and magic.

What happens if I commit to a disposition for a month? Say generosity – Will I get more of it, see more of it and share more of it? Another flip of the calendar page begins on Tuesday this sounds like a pseudo science experiment that would be fun to take a stab at.

If this were ‘pure science’ as described by some picky friends of mine (they are also correct) I might choose the Scientific Method.
Research
Problem
Hypothesis
Experiment
Results
Discussion and Conclusion

In my counterfeit experiment I will take liberties with all the steps.

Research – secondary and tertiary evidence (think Google) is inconsistent in its conclusion.
Problem – if people aren’t intentionally generous, they aren’t generous
Hypothesis – if I focus on generosity, she will appear much more often for me and those around me
Experiment – observe and record signs and acts of generous behavior throughout November
Results – forthcoming
Discussion and Conclusion – forthcoming in Decemebr 2016.

I will provide updates throughout but would love to have a larger sample so the pretend process offers genuine narratives and examples. Sign up for November is Generosity and let’s have some fun.

Make Next Month Remarkable,

B

Original Thought · Self Improvement

Are You Listening?

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I need an audience. Without readers, my words fall on deaf ears- no matter how clever, important or irrelevant they seem to be. But do I need to earn the right to speak my truth into the world? Do I need a plan to cultivate listeners? Should I be writing less but better? More and more spontaneous?
When I began I was just writing for me. It was my process and it cleared my head and brought clarity to what I was thinking. Somewhere around post 125 I began to think about you, the reader, and what you were thinking. By number 500, I was focusing on appealing to a specific model reader (who I imagined was out there waiting for my next post). After 600 on makeityourproblem.com and a nearly daily shipping of content to other blogs and forums I realized that my ideas were being censored by an imaginary prospective subscriber. I was tempering my language and censoring ideas that were either too main street or too out of the park. Do all creatives begin to create what they imagine the world, their world, wants?

My mantra that remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen others when they embrace their personal responsibility rather and allow society to absolve them is the genesis of my musings and prose. I seem to have forgotten the motivation and mission. I want to significantly influence thousands of people in their journeys to living a ‘big life’. Are you influenced by these posts? Do you feel that you are living a bigger life, leaning towards being remarkable? Do you remember any of the past 600 posts or the calls to action in about half of them? Would you recall and act if the message was more compelling? Would a change of medium (video, podcast, animation) make a difference? What if the message was being created and delivered by someone else? would a different style be compelling? If this was always satirical would it be impactful?

This year there have been about 25,000 viewers to makeityourproblem.com. I don’t know if that can be considered significant. I sure don’t know if any or all found a gem or a germ they could take away. Maybe the numbers are to small and in order to influence thousands, I need to reach hundreds of thousands. Would you react differently if you knew that 100,000 other folks were ingesting and digesting the same content?

I am taking a chance on a Saturday to write about my secret hopes for this space and for the decisions that I make in my community. Honestly I am apprehensive being so vulnerable and insecure and afraid of rejection. There is a small part of me that hopes no one is listening and another part that is excited that there may be some of you who will reach out a provide honest feedback so I can improve.

Maybe the seasons are changing and as with all things this one has passed.

Cheers and Three Cheers,

B

Original Thought

The Best and the Not so Best

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hope

The Olympics offers us a glimpse into life, patriotism, courage, corruption and perseverance and commitment. There are tragedies, travesties, fairy tales in real time and a whirlwind of metaphors and parables being woven in the ether. I don’t know if I need the official approval of the IOC to even type the O word or some official credential to tell a story or offer my perspective from afar but I will chance it this morning and offer some observations. The words here are generalized and if it sounds like I am stating a fact, well I am likely not.

Let’s begin with the heroism. I admit that I seem to have a need for heroes, especially if they have fallen from grace and had some type of redemption. Prior to the Rio games I wasn’t a fan of Michael Phelps. There wasn’t any animosity or distaste, just ambivalence. His records and performance were impressive but I didn’t cheer for him. This year, his back story and rehabilitation meant something more. A Joseph Campbell hero saga story was crafted by circumstances, agents and media and I found myself rooting for his return to the top of the podium. The conquering hero didn’t disappoint. With all the drama of a James Cameron movie (one in the making?) Michael took on the challengers, heir apparents, and wanna bes. If there is a lesson rather than hype, it might be that we are created to overcome odds and like Von Goethe says we need to be committed.

For Canadians, the new hero, with her own guest in the background, is Penny Oleskiak. Rather than a vanquishing dragon slayer, she is the protagonist with humility. Her medals and individual results don’t overshadow the team she is a part of. As a reluctant hero, she is charming and humble. I suspect that there was some story crafting before the games and some editing and adapting since they started but in her story we see hard work, determination, genetics, and hope. We can all use more of three of those.

There are so many athlete successes from the Refugee Team to the Fijian 7s that speak to what I understand the O to symbolize but tantrums, favoritism, missed opportunity and cowardice have raised their heads too. For me the corrupt action of decision makers in disregarding drug testing reports in order to save face and appease a nation embroiled in the scandal is the antithesis of these symbols.
I struggle to understand how men and women could condone illegal action by athletes and state and still hold the rings high. There has been many suggestions that we should hold Juicer Games where anyone can compete regardless of steroid or HGH or genetic manipulation. Somewhat tongue in cheek, they say they would love to see how fast, high, strong we could be before exploding.

Away from the games Bill Murray offered a better comparison. He would like there to be an average Jane or Joe in every race just so we can actually understand how remarkable these performance are. It would give us pause to realize that 64th in the world is still 10’s of times faster, higher, stronger than most humans on the planet could achieve.

As we move into the track and field, where there is sure to be controversy, I am choosing to stay focused on the best of the games – the athletes, coaches and teams who represent excellence, honesty, fair play and generosity.

Make Today Remarkable, by being inspired,
B

Original Thought · Self Improvement

Are You Really Committed?

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Is today the day you take the plunge? Are you standing at the top of the precipice counting down to one? Have you been standing at the ready for more than a few weeks? Is fear paralyzing you or have you not firmly committed to the next step?
Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe, famous 19th C German philosopher is best known for an inspirational quote. “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it.” The most quoted piece is a portion of a longer and I think far more profound quote.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.”
It isn’t in the dreaming that magic happens, it is in the commitment. If you have been planning and re-planning a new venture, a new idea, a new product, a new relationship but haven’t acted then you may be trapped in hesitancy and ineffectiveness.

It is easy to say “that every journey begins with a single step” but so cliche as to be virtually useless. The first step is important but it is in the third and fourth that momentum towards the splendid plan. There isn’t a magic bullet, a secret incantation or elixir that will move you. It takes courage to be committed and a recognition that you are stepping into the unknown. For some of us it is a jungle for others a city park, nonetheless perceived as a great risk. You may never overcome some of the fear but courage isn’t acting in the absence of fear or by simply ignoring it. Courage happens in spite of acknowledging the risks and barriers and moving ahead anyway.
In most coaching that I do, we work to find small steps that make taking the big one more manageable. When you are perched at the top, fighting between jumping or retreating, there aren’t any small steps. It isn’t my judgement or my decision – it is yours. But if you have done some homework (remember you can’t know everything) and are now conflicted it can be as simple as trust. Trust is a choice that we make and once made becomes invisible. Trust yourself and your intuition (framed by your life experiences, observations and research) and act. This isn’t a flip of the coin – heads I go tails I retreat. The decision is waiting for you to make it. Trust yourself and respect the choice. If you leap – good luck. If you retreat – you still are better for having made the decision.

Today is the day to test your commitment. Trust your gut. Breathe and act. Accept the results and consequences and celebrate whatever the outcome.

Self Improvement

Accepting Your Limits for Today

Bob McInnis2 Comments

This week, I was in our gym doing some strength training and feeling a bit insecure about how much/little I am able to dead lift and overhead press. I know it isn’t suppose to be a competition and honestly there wasn’t even anyone else there. The insecurity was humbling and I usually respond better to humility inducing opportunities. Anyway, I added 10 pounds to OHP weight and recorded it in an app I use from Stronglifts called 5X5. I did the first set and pushed the button to record it. After 45 seconds, I did a second set and realized that I had overdone the weight increase because my ego didn’t like the humble pie but I did the 5 reps and clicked the button. After 90 seconds I struggled mightily through set 3 and clicked and then pushed ‘Finished’ instead of doing two more prescribed sets ( my acknowledgement of my mistake and limitations). The app said “quitting isn’t and option”. I hadn’t seen that ‘motivation’ reminder before but pushed ‘Finished’ again. ” are you a wimp?” was the app’s response. My back was up and in most circumstances I would have gotten into a ‘let-me-show-you’ space and ignored my inner voice saying ” you have reached your limit”. This time I pushed ‘Finished’ one last time and turned the app off. I used it again later in the week after learning so many lessons about myself and better way to react to external stimuli.

Sometimes when we are feeling vulnerable, we ignore or deny or unaware of the cause. Many of us have a sick-it-up backstory from childhood where pushing through at any cost was always the right answer. I recognize that I have scripts running in my head from a father who likely really just wanted me to succeed and high school coaches who wanted to win. I also realize that quitting is a slippery slope – harder to do the first time than the fifth (at anything). Persistence is a virtue that I celebrate but I am coming to understand that self awareness and humility to admit limitations are also important aspects I can learn and embrace.

The rest of my workouts, this week, were strenuous but within my ability and I was able to run a grueling 10K trail run on a muddy course, this morning, (and finish first in my age group) because I didn’t injure myself. The takeaway for me and maybe others is that pushing to be better is great but recognizing your current limits without personal judgement is greater.

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Tomorrow, I tackle OHP, dead lifts and squats with a new clarity of purpose and promise.

Make Today Remarkable, by accepting humility,

B

Self Improvement

If You’re Happy and You Know It (even if you aren’t and don’t)

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Can people around you make you happy? Turns out that we are masters of our own domain and many of our emotions are within the span of our control but, the big but is that if we are surrounded by negativity, it begins to pervade our tendencies. If we hang out with negative people we begin to have negative feelings regardless of how we structure our mindfulness. Even, if we read negative status posts on social media, we get nudged towards negative thoughts about our own lives. A large Facebook study determined that the degree of happiness and contentment we feel is significantly impacted by who we follow and whose posts we spend time reading.

If we can be influenced by fleeting glimpses from Facebook, imagine the impact that we can have on those who we are closest to; our partner, children, friends and coworkers or they can have on us. Are you being dragged down by constantly surrounding yourself with unhappy people? Are you choosing to be unhappy in this moment, today, this week? Would you prefer to feel joy rather than despair? This is where the power over your own decisions comes back into play. You get to decide how you act (If you consciously choose to) and how you feel. When you finishing reading this post, spend 10 minutes exuding happiness, being exceptionally social and expressing gratitude.

Start with 10 minutes and build to an hour, then 2,3,4. You will be amazed at how quickly a dramatically your experience and that of those around you will improve. Once the momentum shifts to happiness, the impact goes viral and becomes infectious to a much larger audience. It takes commitment and persistent incremental change to keep the ball rolling but my/your 10 minutes can grow into a neighborhood celebration.

The world is large and we aren’t but we can make a big difference if we commit and change how we act.

Make Today Remarkable, by choosing 10 minutes of happiness, being social and expressing gratitude.

B

Self Improvement

Intellegently Intentional

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Intentional action builds culture and culture trumps rules every time. If the changes you want in your world aren’t happening, you need to ask “am I acting as if they will, working as if I can move the needle, and am I in the right place with the right people?”
It is easier, quicker and more fun creating a positive culture of work, support, community rather than trying to change a toxic environment. Once the air stinks, no appoint of Febreeze will remove it unless the source of the odour is removed. If you are in a unhealthy or abusive arrangement a work, home or play it is likely that you will need to find an exit strategy to free yourself.
If you feel the air going bad, you can speak up and act out to build a world that works for everyone, including you. The time to build is before it turns sour and then realize that there needs to be constant vigilance in keeping the naysayers and scarcity soothsayers at bay by being honest, transparent, vocal and brave.
There is nothing organic about culture or relationships or community. We need to work hard every day to ensure that ‘happily ever after’ is a reality. That means listening when someone else is speaking, hearing what they are really saying, responding to their statement (not what you want the topic to be), allowing time, seeking clarification, being helpful, being honest, and being brave ( I repeat this here because bravery is in short supply in our world).

There will be tension – that is what gets us past the mediocre. There will be disagreement – that is what challenges and creates teaching moments. There will be insincerity – we are all fallible and insecure. There will be fun – that is bi-product of community that shares. There will be trials – how would we know the victories without some tests. There will be mistakes – awesome. There will not be a silver bullet, magic elixir, Android app that will make the work easy or convenient. If you are ‘in’, be ‘in’ for the long haul. Long isn’t for ever and the changing world we face ensures that everything likely as a much shorter best before date than we originally considered. Don’t take offense or wring your hands when things change and culture shifts or community dissolves. Celebrate the opportunity you have today to be the best communicator, career, challenger, and collaborator you can be – today.  But don’t beat yourself up too badly when you realize that on some (for me many) days you weren’t the best. Tomorrow is a fresh start. Learn from yesterday. Make any amends you need to make early in the fresh start. Rebuild relationships and recommit to understanding and respecting the culture you are swimming in. Step back of necessary and realize that you get to choose/create the atmosphere that you are inhaling and that it can make you wiser, nicer, and better or it can poison you and bring out your ego that wants to control, criticize, and crash the work you are doing.
Perseverance; the ability to commit and execute day after day isn’t easy but know that it is worthwhile. At the end of the day, at the end of our days, or maybe when we live through a great shift, the only thing that will have value is the community and reciprocity it brings. All material objects will wear out, lose value, or cause more grief than glee. Only in the way that we share our gifts in relationship, our concern in compassion and our joy in jubilation will stand the test of time.

Make Today Remarkable, by being intentional,
B

Self Improvement

Is Planning Crazy?

Bob McInnis1 Comment

The world changes so quickly and the variables that impact us and our lives are so interconnected. Does this make planning ahead (more than 168 hours) utter nonsense?

I have meetings booked into July. A vacation is booked for next January. I am looking at financial requirements for mid 2017. We have been discussing goals for 10 years from now. Is this all just to quell anxiety or is it helpful in shaping the future?

A few years ago, I would have said ” it is  essential to lay the groundwork and make specific plans for the future”. Everything seemed so predictable then. Predictability has been shaken. Two economic downturns in ten years. World conflicts bubbling everywhere. Political partisanship and pandering is the order of the day and thousands of variables that I don’t recognize are banging into each other and creating and recreating trajectories.

I obviously am still planning, even if it with less certainty. In uncertain times having a preferred planned future appointment or direction creates a bit of a frame around all the tomorrows. Today I need that range of possibilities or fear I would be paralyzed by the undetermined and erratic possibilities.

pathway

I suggest we all continue to lay out the future with the understanding that adaptation and evaluation may be our most important tools. Planning may be crazy but it is also crucial and constructive.

Make a Plan Today,

B