Tag: ego

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Teamwork

Being Remarkable

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

Given the choice and the opportunity to be remarkable, what else would you do? Being remarkable means a lot of things.

remarkable-people

First – remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen others. In all situations they add value to the people, the conversation and the action in front of them.

Second – remarkable people create remarkable things. They do the best under the circumstances without being burdened by perfection. Imperfection is the spark that leaves space for innovation and inspiration. By beginning the creation, they set the bar and direction without drawing a hard circle around the destination.

Third – remarkable people know that they are capable and that everyone else brings skills, talents and gifts to the party. While they demand dissent, they do it respectfully. They strive to encourage or provoke others to contribute and keeps the ideas flowing by using a yes and approach. ” Yes that will work and we could …”

Fourth – remarkable people take care of their health. They are aware of their mortality and frailty but acknowledgement is a challenge rather than acceptance. They are food aware and while not anal about nutrition, they make better choices more often. In the light of day or the depths of night, we all have our own pathology and mental illness. It isn’t in the illness but in the accommodation and exploitation of it that remarkable people rise. In spite or because of their quirks, foibles and tendencies, they thrive.

Fifth – they thrive in ambiguity, conflict and tension. The recognize that the imperative of comfort, convenience and certainty, that most embrace, are silently destroying intellect of individuals, resilience of community and perseverance of humanity. They swim in tension and uncertainty because the alternative is a slow and mediocre death.

Sixth – remarkable people shine a light on the darkness in their lives, most of which that arises from their ego. They are aware that the ego can use trickery, deception, admiration and self deprecation to keep them on a self serving path. They have developed an intention and practice of reflection and diligence. They poke around their intentions and actions asking deep why questions and adapting and aligning to their values.

Most importantly, being a remarkable person is a choice we get to make every day.

Make Today Remarkable, by choosing to be remarkable,

B

Original Thought

Until the Truth is Forgotten

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

I was listening to ” How to Fly a Horse” by Kevin Ashton this morning. He tells the story of an African slave who figured out how to assist orchids in their self pollination and thus created a vanilla industry. His master initially gave him credit but the story soon, because of cultural norms, shifted to the master teaching the slave who taught other slaves. The powerful created their own truth when they couldn’t explain how a slave could figure out a solution to a problem they had faced for decades. Eventually historians recognized that there were inconsistencies and through research discovered that Edmond Albus was the slave who launched the vanilla industry.

Ashton’s point in ” How to Fly a Horse” is to demonstrate that invention and genius comes from relentless monotonous actions and observing and adapting to the conclusions. My point is that truth is malleable not immutable.  How many Edmonds never received credit for their contributions to the world because of their race or gender? How many legends just stepped in and appropriated credit for something they didn’t invent?

What other truths do we  hold that have been created and recreated to support other truths that were universally accepted even though they may be false? Maybe the way we use the word truth creates the problem – many think it is synonymous with fact ( another idea that is far more malleable  than we are comfortable to admit). What if truth is closer to believe or understand or feel? I often use a disclaimer when telling stories to an audience ” I don’t know if this really happened but I know it is true”. I am suggesting that the essence is where true has power rather than in veracity, authenticity, accuracy, or certainty. There are things that I can prove, based on a conjecture that passes a burden today. There are things that I know because of the sum of my experience and education.  There are things that are true because I know them to be – know them not in my head but in my heart.

 

If you find yourself declaring a truth, check where it is rising up from. If your ego, ask why do I feel so insecure that I need to shine in this moment. If your education identifies with the statement, remember the vanilla industry and the millions of other manufactured truths. If you just know something to be right, you are likely  on a path that is worth exploring.

 

B

Self Improvement

My Opponent

Bob McInnis3 Comments

 

A lesson I am learning is about my own ability to create chaos in my life and sabotage the best efforts of the Creator to bring fulfillment to my life. The problem is that I don’t handle success any better than failure because my ego wants me to think only about myself. When I think things, do things and embrace things that are just for me – to make me look good, feel good or impress others the chaos begins. As I feed on the feelings and recognition I seek more and make decisions that will satisfy the insatiable ego.
If on the other hand I seek to share more, add value to my world and make the difference I am called to make the chaos subsides. My ego doesn’t like the diet and so it pushes back. It creates uncomfortable circumstances (IN MY HEAD) and unnecessary desires for material rewards (IN MY HEART). The ego screams that I deserve more, more notice, more love, more recognition, more shiny stuff so that I will be temporarily sated. The feeling of satisfaction is the addiction that E is trying to foster. If I feel good in this moment, I will continue to seek these small inconsequential victories, at almost any cost.

opponent

Smart people find themselves in unethical quandaries because they became addicted to micro bursts of self satisfaction. We can be fulfilled if we seek to be of service to others, to a cause greater than ourselves, to an agenda that is about sharing our gifts with those around us; near and far.

Make Today Remarkable, by starving your ego,

B

Uncategorized

Choice

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

Most everything has a choice component. We get to make choices about love, health, work, hopes and happiness. We can choose trust or distrust. In order to live a more fulfilling life we need to consider our choices.

happiness quote

Most people choose to see themselves in light of an effect. ” I am sad because you did …” I am angry because..” I can’t change my job because …” As if the world was acting upon them. In reality they can as easily choose cause and become proactive in their journey. The only thing stopping us from choosing to make our life is our ego. It causes us to seek selfish rather than sharing behaviour. It is about me and me rather than you and us. Even if you are shy and reserved your ego controls your action because you worry about being embarrassed or being laughed at. Getting past the debilitating ego and framing every opportunity or challenge as a choice begins to erode the ego’s power. As you choose to intervene in your own life and make decisions to benefit others, your life begins to fill up. If you worry about loss, losing. opinions, and status you are thinking about you, you, you.

Maslow’s pyramid was right but not in the way that we usually use it. The pyramid isn’t meant to be filled from the bottom up. If you begin with self actualization (the act of considering the other first) the pyramid fills itself (not really but it does fill from a place of strength and abundance rather than lack and weakness. Take a chance today and start turning your pyramid on it’s head.

Make Today Fulfilling, by thinking about how your choices will impact others,

 

B

Uncategorized

Most Everything Must Change

Bob McInnis1 Comment

I know it sounds like a hyperbole but unless I/we begin with the premise  that all our ideas, all our opinions, all our actions (collective and individual), and all our truths need to be open to examination, we are doomed to  the curse of complacency.

I can go through my day, my week, my year cocksure that what I  see as truth is what everyone should see. Ten years ago my sister gave me a birthday gift; a stone coaster that was engraved with “Everyone is entitled to my opinion.” It was humorous, ironic, and accurate. I am opinionated and vocal but I can also be single minded.  I can go through months without examining a position or premise that just gets stronger as I plow ahead. Gradually, gradually, gradually, suddenly I am convinced that my way is the only way.

In the best circumstances, I am awakened in the night, often at 3:37 am, with the question ” why am I so sure that I am right?” When I don’t ignore the voice, I get the opportunity to re examine my thesis or action in a different light. Everything has an odd perspective in the middle of the night. Insight sometimes comes from the reflection. Confirmation of the direction but not the tactics arises. Tweaks to the communication show up. I am shocked by a horrible realization that I am misguided and need to begin again from a different place. There is a momentary disruption in my pursuit of meaning but if I don’t surrender to my ego and push ahead regardless there is always a new powerful conviction for me to be energized by.

Take the time to examine your most strongly held views and habits. Listen to the middle of the night voice. Seek out a different perspective through research, debate, reflection and writing. Be willing to see/hear alternatives and act on them.