Tag: encourage

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Teamwork · Uncertainty

Wow

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Where is your wow? When are you wowed? In all the inequity of our world, we all have a special something that we can do to make others think and say ‘wow’. A great smile, a gentle touch, a kind word can lift others up. Remarkable service to clients and customers, inspirational writing to an audience (large or small), and demonstrated caring for family or friends would be wowing. Can you make the best cheese biscuits, paint an uplifting canvas, or can you perform some amazing or unusual physical feat? Have you considered how you can wow others and are you setting out every day to do just that? If you commit to being the sparkle in someone else’s day, I guarantee that you will find many times throughout your day that someone will intentionally do something that has you saying “wow.”

This isn’t mystical, karma, spiritual but rather it is practical. When I am genuinely interested in uplifting someone else, I give off vibes, aura, permission for others to choose me (rather than some grumpy, unreasonable customer) as the beneficiary of their goodwill. It is just easier to be nice to nice people. I don’t apologize for recognizing the connection and have decided to invest my time, my resources, my gifts and myself in the company of pleasant folks. I have tried to be the wower for complainers, naysayers, and nothing is ever good-enoughers but it is too exhausting, and I get dragged to their level and find myself nitpicking, whining and underappreciating.

Most days, my wow resides in an ability to gather disparate ideas and synthesize their essences into the big picture. The big picture isn’t always what everyone else is hoping for, expecting to see, or are happy hearing. The wow doesn’t have an exclamation point after it as in ” Wow! That is remarkable.” but more like “wow, that wasn’t what I imagined would happen.” I can elicit the former, but with my disposition and tendencies, it is probably insincere and unsatisfying. Your way of creating wow and hearing will be different from mine (as it should be) but can be equally inspiring and valuable. When I hear ” I didn’t like hearing what you had to say about the project but it was something we all needed to hear,” I take it as an acknowledgment of the contribution and my ego hears it as a compliment.

Today, I said “wow” to a colleague when they presented an analysis complete with spreadsheets and decision trees. The response wasn’t because of the work and due diligence but because we both know that this work required hard work that doesn’t come easily for him. The three letters put a smile on his face and inflated his chest more than anything I have shared with him over the last three years. ” I really appreciate that!” was inspiring for both of us.

Wow, can come in the unexpected, the unneeded, and the unappreciated. Wow can be delivered without being acknowledged but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t remembered. A door held open, a smile, a pay-it-forward coffee that is consciously and intentionally delivered doesn’t evaporate into the ether. It lives on through moments and people and can arrive in unimagined moments to raise your spirits, boost your confidence and offer encouragement.

Make Today Remarkable, by giving your best and biggest wows,

B

Original Thought

Everything is a Draft

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I am never really done. I begin and edit and adapt all the elements of my life. My choices today lead to an opportunity or challenge that requires a different approach towards a undefined outcome. I scribble ideas that are pertinent in the moment and get stale or inappropriate in a longer view. The drafts allow evolution and revolution to occur. There is no once and for all Statement of Belief or final product. I ship ideas, opinions, content and creative with the understanding and willingness to reframe, rethink, and rework. This allows the shipment to encourage, provoke, challenge, anger, disturb or humour the recipients and hopefully generate engagement.

When it all is an unfinished piece of business I can be curious rather than defensive. You can be inquisitive rather than passive and it opens the door to an as yet unimagined conversation.

I was volunteering with Beakerhead (a Smashup of Arts, Science and Engineering) over the past few days as a curiousity rover. I was able to begin micro conversations with thousands of people and in minutes make a connection that influenced the next interaction.  There was silliness, seriousness, satire, and scientific inquiry when I began with questions rather than statements. I learned about aliens, about people, about the hotel industry and some strong convictions about creation and certainty. In draft form, I was able to incorporate what resonated and consider what disrupted my confirmation bias.

It isn’t easy feeling like nothing is ever finished but for me it keeps me motivated and alive.

Make Today Remarkable, by creating a few draft conversations,

B

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The Power of a Myth

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Mythology exists in all aspects of our life. We believe we are a country of intelligent, entrepreneurial, caring, radical individualists who come together to share our resources and skills and make the world a better place. It likely doesn’t matter where you live, The myth of people and place is pretty powerful. And there is some truth in every myth.
We listen to our Genesis stories; as people, cities, companies and celebrate them by rewriting them to fit our current expectations, mores, attitudes and regrets. The adaptability and flexibility of our stories reflects that we understand that they may never have happened but are definitely true.

My myths keep me safe, keep me calm, help me stay rooted and inspire me. I have absorbed some from my kin and their strange Scottish Scandinavian practices and history. I was taught some from my grandmother and mother that form the basis for my morality and responsibility. I have crafted a few myths myself so I am able to continue doing what I do and to justify my actions in the face of resistance. As the narratives become embedded they earn mythology status, for a time. They are relative to an audience that is predisposed to the lesson. Christians lean towards and love Christian narratives although most zealots would be uncomfortable with the myth reference since they see the stories as complete and inerrant.

There are myths about the glories of capitalism that supporters love and myths that deride and denigrate capitalism that detractors love. Myth – Under capitalism, anyone who works hard can succeed. Myth – Under capitalism only those with a silver spoon get to eat from the golden dish. Sometimes the myth is accepted by both perspectives but for completely different reasons. Myth – We are all in the same boat.

I was raised with a protestant work ethic with tinges of puritan morals so shaking those off and seeing the world with more joy, hope and optimism was a long process and there are days that the baggage rears its head as a defense mechanism against an idea, a party, a person who I disagree with. When I am struggling to understand I can twist and turn my personal narratives with all kinds of logical fallacies. I see injustice when none exists, I hear slander in feedback, I taste opposition in diversity but on the days that I trust and hope (another area of mythology) I grow in all those circumstances.

Myth, as a social construct, is most often destructive as we are seeing in a current election campaign. The myths of race, gender, ethnicity, orientation, money creates sides and factions. And when you choose a team or are picked for a team loyalty overwhelms our senses. I have found myself accepting and then defending something that didn’t sit right because it was part of the team’s narrative. Political parties and religious factions have notorious influence on the common sense and common decency of adherents. When the narrative creates a them and us, it is time to deconstruct it and hold it up to the brightest light because it is likely in service of an agenda that is self serving and selfish.

I love myths, ancient and modern. Like the heroes of ancient myths, modern superheroes have extraordinary powers. The most famous superhero is Superman, created by American cartoonists Jerry Siegel and Joseph Shuster in 1938. In comics and on radio, television, and movie screens, he fights for “truth, justice, and the American way,” using his powers of flight and incredible strength, powers he possesses because he is from another planet. Like most modern superheroes, Superman keeps his identity a secret and pretends to be an ordinary man. Such myths suggest that anyone can have unsuspected potential for heroism.

Make Today Remarkable, because you believe the myth that you are,

B

Original Thought · Self Improvement

Are You Listening?

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I need an audience. Without readers, my words fall on deaf ears- no matter how clever, important or irrelevant they seem to be. But do I need to earn the right to speak my truth into the world? Do I need a plan to cultivate listeners? Should I be writing less but better? More and more spontaneous?
When I began I was just writing for me. It was my process and it cleared my head and brought clarity to what I was thinking. Somewhere around post 125 I began to think about you, the reader, and what you were thinking. By number 500, I was focusing on appealing to a specific model reader (who I imagined was out there waiting for my next post). After 600 on makeityourproblem.com and a nearly daily shipping of content to other blogs and forums I realized that my ideas were being censored by an imaginary prospective subscriber. I was tempering my language and censoring ideas that were either too main street or too out of the park. Do all creatives begin to create what they imagine the world, their world, wants?

My mantra that remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen others when they embrace their personal responsibility rather and allow society to absolve them is the genesis of my musings and prose. I seem to have forgotten the motivation and mission. I want to significantly influence thousands of people in their journeys to living a ‘big life’. Are you influenced by these posts? Do you feel that you are living a bigger life, leaning towards being remarkable? Do you remember any of the past 600 posts or the calls to action in about half of them? Would you recall and act if the message was more compelling? Would a change of medium (video, podcast, animation) make a difference? What if the message was being created and delivered by someone else? would a different style be compelling? If this was always satirical would it be impactful?

This year there have been about 25,000 viewers to makeityourproblem.com. I don’t know if that can be considered significant. I sure don’t know if any or all found a gem or a germ they could take away. Maybe the numbers are to small and in order to influence thousands, I need to reach hundreds of thousands. Would you react differently if you knew that 100,000 other folks were ingesting and digesting the same content?

I am taking a chance on a Saturday to write about my secret hopes for this space and for the decisions that I make in my community. Honestly I am apprehensive being so vulnerable and insecure and afraid of rejection. There is a small part of me that hopes no one is listening and another part that is excited that there may be some of you who will reach out a provide honest feedback so I can improve.

Maybe the seasons are changing and as with all things this one has passed.

Cheers and Three Cheers,

B

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Free to Be Me

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It takes commitment and courage to be yourself in the face of the coercion of  conformity. Not looking like everyone else or at least looking the same with minor alterations is fearful for many. As I walk through the halls of academia or the corridors of business it is weird to see how uniform we have all become. When I encounter someone who is showing an individuality it is so rare as to be noticed. Where are all the characters? They can’t have all moved to San Francisco.

Have we become so obedient to orthodoxy that we have stopped expressing ourselves as ourselves? If we can our costumes are all the same how can we have our own values, ideas, actions? The bandwagon towards a homogeneous mass seems to roll along picking up willing riders. The parade gets started and people jump in the queue  without really knowing where it is going. Once in the line, dissent becomes difficult or impossible. ( see what happens to people who challenge a speaking point at a Trump rally. or a Clinton rally, or any ideological institution).

Conformity has become madness with a pathology towards predictability and standardization. We hear a ” be a team player” but understand do like we are doing. The pressure is extreme. All the media outlets (especially TV) preach the right way to dance, sing, act, play, dress, by creating and recreating caricatures for us to emulate. Our friends lean with the mass and we feel alone. It takes commitment and courage to be yourself in the face of the coercion of  conformity. Are you courageous enough to commit not to conform, just one time, today?

unique

Make Today Remarkably Unconventional,

B

 

 

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Turning a Deaf Ear

Bob McInnis5 Comments

After yesterday’s post, I received 5 emails from readers who said ” I don’t have any art to make”. This was sad and telling.

I am told, by my beloved,  that I can exhibit ‘selective hearing’ – only being aware of what I want to hear. This can be rude and hurtful if done with other people but may be helpful if you can hone it for conversations you are having with yourself.

What if my heart was screaming “say something, do something, this isn’t right” and I tuned  out the voice? If the gift of fear was warning me to “stay away from this scheme” and I ignored it, the consequences might be serious. “You are remarkable” comes into my head and I deny it. ” Bob, try again” is the encouragement I ignore.

It is tricky business selecting which of my voices I should honor and trust and which are the voices of procrastination, dishonesty, anxiety. How do I know it is anticipation speaking and not naivete?

Lewis Smedes says “Seeing reality for what it is is what we call discernment. The work of discernment is very hard.” It is hard  given the judgments of the world. Unless I can discern, I cannot be certain I am acting in the highest and best manner. “However, when I feel aware, expanded and full of love, I must be doing something right (and conversely, when I feel bored, impatient and regretful I am not listening to the highest voice).”~ Sal Rachelle

Discernment is an act of awareness, whereas judgment as an act of ego. Practicing discernment  is like everything else and contrary to the adage it doesn’t simply make it perfect. Practice only makes permanent, if there isn’t reflection and accountability. Doing this practice alone is possible but can be earned and learned more easily and more quickly with a coach. I know that I have been assisted by the wisdom, challenge and accountability of a formal coach and my clients have added remarkable value and insights  to their lives through feedback, accountability, courageous goals, tension  and some systems thinking.

As always, I am available and open to discussing how coaching might add value to your life. Contact bob@remarkablepeople.ca

Make Today Remarkable, by being aware rather than judgmental,

B

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Guerilla Art

Bob McInnis2 Comments

I was walking through an inner city community, heading home after spending some delicious time at the Central Library. It is a great place to find inspiration and observe people. At an intersection with construction on all four corners, I discovered an impromptu art installation and had to take a picture because I was inspired again.

Peace

The rest of my walk along the Bow River, I began imagining who might have created this piece. Did they know that their deliberate  creation would spawn a spontaneous impression? Did they expect that the art and the message would capture someone’s imagination for almost an hour? Could they expect that a conversation would have been the result of leaning their creation against a boulevard?

Am I/are we being deliberate in our creation of our art? (art as defined by Seth Godin as Art isn’t only a painting. Art is anything that’s creative, passionate and personal.) When I create, I think about you, the reader/viewer/receiver and try to add my personal position apparent in a way  that provokes, encourages, evokes a response. (comments are great)

Does it matter that the street artist may never know the impact of her creation? Will he continue without direct encouragement? Will I ever know if anything I am shipping makes a difference? Does it matter if I do/don’t?

Are you creating and shipping your art?

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Be the Author of Your Story

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I have had times where I was being defined by others and accepting their depiction of who I was and what value I brought to my world. I didn’t like it. I didn’t even recognize it.

When I found myself in social, business or family situations that didn’t resonate with who I was, I began to understand that my story was being written by others. I don’t think any of the writers had malicious intent but they sure had a power. I began to wrestle back my story by interjecting edits, clarifications or retractions when a conversation or circumstance made me uneasy. This does take focus and courage. Rather than letting it slide, I needed to step up and own my story, state my case, and firmly hold my personal position.

I try to live my life holistically – in every situation, I am who you see and know. But pressure to conform to other’s expectations found me living in silos where my tone, persona, and choices were more a reflection of other’s than me. Worse if they saw me in a different silo, they might not recognize me.

Breaking out was/is a process of awareness of yourself, some form of articulation of yourself, public affirmation of yourself, and courage to resist the push/pull from peers and family. There are consequences, good and not so good. For me the good far outweighed the other.

Make Today Remarkable, by being the best you that you can be,

B

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What is Meaning?

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“Meaning is not something you stumble across, like the answer to a riddle or the prize in a treasure hunt. Meaning is something you build into your life. You build it out of your own past, out of your affections and loyalties, out of the experience of humankind as it is passed on to you, out of your own talent and understanding, out of the things you believe in, out of the things and people you love, out of the values for which you are willing to sacrifice something. The ingredients are there. You are the only one who can put them together into that unique pattern that will be your life. Let it be a life that has dignity and meaning for you. If it does, then the particular balance of success or failure is of less account.”

— From a speech John W. Gardner delivered to the Hawaii Executive Conference in Kona, Hawaii, in April 1993

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Too Weak for Gossip

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The Human Brain is too Weak for Gossip by Neal Bearden in a December HBR article begins with ” Gossip is evaluative talk among familiars about a third party who is not present.”  This is all too common and usually goes unpunished and for the most part is thoughtless (without thought and without care). The  evaluation may only be based in opinion or bias and that too often goes unchallenged. What gives gossip its stickiness?

Is it the herd gathering to claim a slight by a common foe? Does some common prejudice or imagined  wrongdoing erase the need for valid metrics? Is it that cowardice loves company and rather than discuss the concern openly with the third person? Or have we just become less productive and more petty?

Maybe all of that is true or none of it but my challenge is for you to examine your motives before you drag someone into a gossip gabfest? Is there something of value that can/will be achieved? Likely not. If you have something to say – be courageous and say it. If you can’t, it likely isn’t worth saying.

Make Today Remarkable by doing something remarkable,

Bob