Original Thought · Self Improvement · Teamwork

The Five Thieves of Happiness

A Guest Post

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Reining in the Thief of Global Comfort

 

Dr. John Izzo’s new book, The Five Thieves of Happiness, defines insidious mental patterns that steal happiness. The five thieves are control, conceit, consumption, coveting, and comfort. In this post, a look at the thief of comfort and how it operates at the global level.

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Just as the thief named comfort tricks us as individuals to keep riding a horse that is taking us in the wrong direction, so this is true for our entire species.

 

As a prime example, for thousands of years human beings were at the mercy of nature on a daily basis. As a species we developed a pattern of seeing nature as abundant and inexhaustible. Our pattern became one in which our primary goal was to subdue nature. We learned to hunt, cultivated the land to our needs, and eventually unearthed millions of years of stored-up fuel such as oil and coal and burned them to create energy. This pattern made sense when there were a few million humans and seemingly limitless natural resources.

 

But the patterns of comfortable routine often get in the way of society’s success when reality changes. Like the man on the horse, humanity is still running in the same basic direction with the same mind-set that was established for circumstances that no longer exist.

 

Today there are 6.5 billion humans on the planet—4 billion more than when I was born only 58 years ago. The bountiful natural world that I was born into has changed radically

in less than one human lifetime. The comfortable pattern of subduing nature as if it were unlimited once worked for us. Predisposed to routine as we are, we have fished out nearly every commercial species of fish; poured tons of fertilizer into the ocean, and through carbon emissions set a course to alter the very climate upon which we depend. All of this damage has been done, in large part, not out of any evil intent but because we are still operating on an old mind-set that is no longer valid.

 

Surprisingly, there are still many people who believe that we as humans are much too small to change the entire planet. And they were right. A short time ago, there were not enough of us to reshape the earth in a way that could endanger the future of life. Our comfortable routine of rampant consumption, uncontrolled energy use, and disregard for the role that the natural ecosystem plays in our well-being once made sense, but now that comfort threatens our very existence.

 

Another example is the zealous belief in free-market capitalism that exists among many people in the developed world, especially in North America. There are many merits to free-market capitalism, and certainly when compared with other systems that went before it, like communism and socialism as practiced in places like the former Soviet Union, it seems like the best of all possible systems. And it was the best system compared with totalitarian or controlled economies that limited human ingenuity.

 

But our fear of new ways of thinking often bind us to a system that may be working in many ways but which has led to increasing gaps between the very rich and the very poor, alongside wholesale degradation of the global environment to benefit

short-term profits. Remember that this thief wants us on that horse, thinking we are in control, when habit and routine are actually leading the way.

 

The same can be said of the scourge of terrorism. In a world where enemies were other nations, the mind-set that wars were won with military power and a heavy hand made complete sense. Yet reality has changed. Fighting terrorism is a war not merely of weapons but of ideas. And in the case of global terrorism, we are not fighting another nation but bands of individuals with a way of thinking that is becoming more pervasive all around the globe. Even one disgruntled person with a perverse ideology can cause devastating human losses.

 

The fifth thief wants us to stay tuned to the old way of thinking that worked in a world in which we no longer operate. Rather than talking about building bridges and winning the war of ideas, we spend most of our time talking about how to win with greater military, security, intelligence, and technological might. It is not that technology or the military are of no use in the war on terrorism—of course they are. The point is that we are wed to old mind-sets that don’t apply in the same way to new realities. Societies and entire nations can ride horses of habit as mindlessly as we can in our own lives.

 

Take, for example, the way potential terrorists are treated in most of the Western world. With the civil war in Syria and the growth of ISIS, many countries around the world are wrestling with how to deal with citizens who go to Syria with the potential to be radicalized. Most of Europe cracked down on citizens who had traveled to Syria. France shut down mosques it suspected of harboring radicals. The United Kingdom declared

citizens who had gone to help ISIS enemies of the state. Several countries threatened to take away their passports.

 

The city of Aarhus in Denmark took a different approach starting in 2012. The local police noticed a trend of young Muslim men going to Syria. But they took an alternative tack than most of Europe. They made it clear to citizens of Denmark who had traveled to Syria that they were welcome to come home and that when they did they would receive help with schooling, finding an apartment, meeting with a psychiatrist or a mentor, or whatever they needed to fully integrate back into Danish society. Although the media dubbed the program “hug a terrorist,” it is actually rooted in psychology backed by solid research.

 

Research shows that there is a very strong correlation between radicalization and young men being humiliated and feeling discriminated against. It also turns out that if you show warmth to people, they are most likely to respond in kind. Note that this is not about coddling terrorists, as these young men are not yet criminals. They are potential terrorists. The program has been quite successful at reintegrating these young men back into society and turning them away from radicalization.

 

The point here is not to suggest an easy solution to a complex problem, but it does illustrate how comfort can mire us in old patterns of thinking that don’t serve us. Whether personally or as entire societies, we must be aware of mind-sets that bind us

to ways of thinking and acting that simply don’t work. New realities call for new solutions. What is especially important is that we take notice of the role that comfort plays in our collective responses to rapidly changing circumstances. Only by stopping the horse of habit can we begin to consider how these old patterns must adapt.

 

Taking the Reins

 

The fifth thief is the subtlest of all the thieves. We like comfort because it makes us feel safe and because it is efficient, but these very habits of comfort undermine the house of our happiness. It is the capacity for surprise, not routine, that brings vitality to life. It is when we take charge of the horse, grab the reins, and alter course away from habits that may have once served us that we find new ways of being in the world that truly work for us. Our entire species is riding the horse of habit to environmental devastation and a world that does not work for all. A new world is waiting, but only after we banish this thief and see it for what it is.

 

Dr. John Izzo is a corporate advisor, a frequent speaker and the bestselling author of seven books including the international bestsellers Awakening Corporate SoulValues ShiftThe Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die, and Stepping Up. His latest book is The Five Thieves of Happiness.

 

Over the last twenty years he has spoken to over one million people, taught at two major universities, advised over 500 organizations and is frequently featured in the media by the likes of Fast Company, PBS, CBC, the Wall Street Journal, CNN, and INC Magazine.

 

www.drjohnizzo.com

 

Twitter: @drjohnizzo

 

LinkedIn: Dr. John Izzo

 

Self Improvement

If You’re Happy and You Know It (even if you aren’t and don’t)

Can people around you make you happy? Turns out that we are masters of our own domain and many of our emotions are within the span of our control but, the big but is that if we are surrounded by negativity, it begins to pervade our tendencies. If we hang out with negative people we begin to have negative feelings regardless of how we structure our mindfulness. Even, if we read negative status posts on social media, we get nudged towards negative thoughts about our own lives. A large Facebook study determined that the degree of happiness and contentment we feel is significantly impacted by who we follow and whose posts we spend time reading.

If we can be influenced by fleeting glimpses from Facebook, imagine the impact that we can have on those who we are closest to; our partner, children, friends and coworkers or they can have on us. Are you being dragged down by constantly surrounding yourself with unhappy people? Are you choosing to be unhappy in this moment, today, this week? Would you prefer to feel joy rather than despair? This is where the power over your own decisions comes back into play. You get to decide how you act (If you consciously choose to) and how you feel. When you finishing reading this post, spend 10 minutes exuding happiness, being exceptionally social and expressing gratitude.

Start with 10 minutes and build to an hour, then 2,3,4. You will be amazed at how quickly a dramatically your experience and that of those around you will improve. Once the momentum shifts to happiness, the impact goes viral and becomes infectious to a much larger audience. It takes commitment and persistent incremental change to keep the ball rolling but my/your 10 minutes can grow into a neighborhood celebration.

The world is large and we aren’t but we can make a big difference if we commit and change how we act.

Make Today Remarkable, by choosing 10 minutes of happiness, being social and expressing gratitude.

B

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Happiness

Three weeks ago you weren’t ready to hear the secret about happiness but as you have worked through breathe, appreciate, kindness, to useful you are now ready to hear it.

” Happiness, like almost everything, is a choice”. There are days when I find the secret hard to believe and I have been practicing and living it for 10 years. On those days the reminder is important. I can choose to be happy or choose to be miserable. People, circumstances, health, money have nothing to do with the choice. In fact the opposite might be truer. Happy people find themselves surrounded by happy people. Happy people discover all new forms of providence in their circumstances. Happy people are healthier. Happy people have more opportunity to acquire whatever they need through their initiative and efforts.

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You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on  your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go. ~ Dr Seuss

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Are Some Goals Unachievable?

Generally I would say all reasonable goals are achievable but just like the serenity prayer I have a discernment problem.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,The courage to change the things I can,And the wisdom to know the difference.  My problem is that haven’t mastered the wisdom part.im possible

I have been chasing some goals, that I still believe are reasonable but progress towards them has slowed or ceased. For example, I set a goal of running a sub 25 minute 5k. Seems possible even though 2 years ago I was running around 35 minutes and that I am not 61 years old. In the first few months my time fell and my pace went up. I plateaued at 30 minutes for a while and took up some coaching to break the next barrier. I can run under 29 most days and ran 27:35 in an October race but haven’t broke 28 minutes since.

I understand that there are so many circumstances at play – rest, nutrition, elevation, motivation, injury but I am disappointed that the progression hasn’t been on my schedule.

Should I let the disappointment deter me from chasing the goal – I don’t think so because the happiness is actually in the pursuit of stretch goals. (there is another circumstance – should I stretch before or after or both). Maybe what I am learning is that my other goals that I easily achieved were too easy.

How about you? Are you chasing goals that exceed your immediate grasp?

Make Today Remarkable, in the happiness of pursuit,

B

 

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Happiness

I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition. ~ Martha Washington

I have been following Gretchin Rubin’s blog and podcast through her last two books ” The Happiness Project” and ” Better Than Before” On her blog , in 2009, she wrote “I’ve noticed that people often assume that everyone enjoys the same activities that they enjoy, because they believe those activities are inherently enjoyable.” (There is also an interesting happiness quiz in this post).

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I somehow connect Martha and Gretchen’s thoughts to conclude that our disposition isn’t inherently consistent. We become what we see. We see what we seek. We seek what we think makes us happy. We are happy when we believe we are happy or if we believe we are happy then we are.

It is that simple and that difficult. Every day we get to go on an adventure of our choosing (either in our life or in our imagination or both). As we seek happiness, it manifests itself in new ways. If observant new people appear with a smile or a chuckle. If watching a scene of glee plays out in front of you. If careful, you will take in an opportunity, small or large, to brighten another’s day. If diligent you will find purpose for today, which is where true happiness resides.

Make Today Remarkably Happy, for someone else,

B

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Meaning Making

I said it again yesterday ” I have 168 hours every week, I sleep less than 68 so I have 100 hours every week to fill with meaning making stuff.” What does that look like? Well I hope that the 7-10 hours a week maintaining this blog counts. The 10-20 hours a week of other writing, 10-20 hours reading and researching, 10-20 responding to inquiries, 30 hours coaching clients, 5 – 10 hours volunteering, 10 hours on personal fitness, 5 hours on spiritual refreshing, 40 hours caring for family and friends, 20 hours exploring my world all are meaning making.

We create meaning by being intentional in how we approach the day-to-day, how we celebrate the extraordinary and how we curiously seek new relationships and ongoing learning. Once I figure out what meaning I am making in a given situation; coaching – helping clients solve their problems, cleaning – making our world safer and more pleasant, reading – expanding my perspective … then I should (should because I don’t always) ask “how can I do this better/differently so that meaning is magnifies. Meaning making is a productivity practice. Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski’s research indicates that “people with callings ( meaning making) are different. They see their work as a positive end in itself. They feel good about what they’re doing. They give more to their work. They get more from it. And here’s a secret about people with callings: Not only are they happy and fulfilled, they’re often very successful, sometimes bringing financial rewards.”

Meaning

Creating meaning requires that we look for meaning in our lives, not life in general. Writing a journal of  your activities can be helpful, if you go back and reflect on how … made meaning for you and/or someone/something else. The reflection is also helpful because it will show you where your time is spent not being meaningful. You can then choose to do nothing or do something else.

We make the most meaning, have the most impact and find the most enjoyment doing those things that we are perfectly suited for (where we are skilled and passionate). Contrary to some thought, being well rounded doesn’t make us better. I have long since dismissed the idea that I should work on my weaknesses. I focus on my strengths, acknowledge that certain details elude me and appreciate the forest. That in itself has helped me become more effective, more energized and happier.

What charges your batteries? What meaning making makes you buzz? How can you do more/better? A coach or ally might be able to help you get the meaning motor running.

Make Today Remarkable and full of meaning,

B

UPDATE

I received this post from Awaken the morning after this post.

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.

What matters is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”

— Victor Frankl, “Man’s Search For Meaning