Intentional

March 13, 2018 Leave a comment

In the spiritual realm (however you define that) everything is intentional. In the material world (however you define that) everything should be intentional. But, I find myself walking amongst many people who expect that somehow, the change they desire will happen organically. If they wish upon a star and take no other action or make no other plan, they believe that some mystical force will move mountains to make their craving (petty or otherwise) come to fruition. My thesis is that there is a magical force; the individual and collective efforts of our world in consort with the rhythms and rules of the planet. If I want my heart’s desire to transpire, I need to perspire.

I have my superstitions and my supersense catches glimpses of many things I don’t understand. I see cause in correlation and correlation in coincidence and coincidence in confirmation. Often, I comfortably comply with a practice that is based on a ‘gut’ feeling because I have never seen tragedy when following this approach. For all my thought and all my reading and writing, I am still comforted by the convenience of a convention. I am convenienced by the comfort that conformity brings. But when I reflect on instances like this I am troubled by my willingness to concede to heuristics, mumbo jumbo and magic rather than make the effort to persist in discovering and uncovering what might be.

In “Behave” by Robert M. Sapolsky says ” displacement aggression (prejudice, anger, fear, love .. emphasis mine) can decrease the aggressor’s stress hormones”.” this world of sensory stimuli, much-sensed unconsciously, is subject to what occurred in the prior hours, to change sensitivity?” What evolutionary pressures have played over the millennia or what stressor in the last day is calling for conditioning?

As I ramble through this idea, I arrive at an oasis. If everything is intentional (or should be) and my superstitions are in some way influenced by evolution and bias, why do I/we resist nonconformity? Is fear of change or the unknown a DNA flaw in today’s reality? I am not evading sabre tooth tigers or scavenging for non-poisonous mushrooms any longer so why hasn’t this function receded or disappeared? Is there an impending reversal of fortunes that we collectively foresee? Will I need to stalk, hunt, and slay my meals in the future? Maybe, but it seems counterproductive to not adapt to those circumstances as required.

Further rambles – Is there any way to believe that events happen organically without having some belief structure that points towards mythical, magical, supernatural cause and effect? In my world, I can’t allow that two people can meet and without effort or intention fall in love and that cupid or some other intervener has cast a spell to have them live happily ever after. A strong marriage or long-term relationship requires hard work every day and when mistakes are made, and they will be, atonement is necessary. The idea that ‘love means never having to say you are sorry’ is a dangerous myth. Diligent and sincere consideration for the other in the relationship and a willingness to recognize and acknowledge when you have been insensitive or inconsiderate is a healthy, enduring, reciprocal relationship.

Further rambles part 2 – If Sapolsky is correct and our behaviour is at least partly controlled by genetic and evolutionary building blocks and hormonal secretion as a result of stimulation and stress, how do I manage my own emotions? How do I reconcile the chaos that I see in others? When Joe snaps at the slightest provocation this morning but shrugs off a slander tomorrow, what am I to make of it? Can I accurately predict how I may react to praise on a day that I have been frightened by a near-miss car accident? How will I react if my beloved, Heaven forbid, has a serious illness? Yes, I see the superstition in the above sentence. Are all behaviour expectations really just averages and generic or is there a way to know how an individual will respond to a situation or a message? Maybe it doesn’t matter unless I am marketing or selling a product or service. If I am in a relationship, some mystery and an unexpected observation or unimagined acknowledgement are healthy for the alliance. After all ‘familiarity breeds contempt’. If I feel I can forecast my partners every move, I am on a short cut to taking her for granted. The balance between sharing enough tendencies and beliefs to feel at ease in someone’s company and being able to ‘know’ what they will say next is a delicate balance. It can only be achieved by testing the scales regularly and making adjustments to keep things interesting.

Future Forecast for Fun

February 7, 2018 Leave a comment

Future Forecast for the Week February 6 to 13, 2018

Odin January 1 to February 5

Odin is the lord of all other gods. You are the most knowledgeable.You draw wisdom from the tree of life, which gives you your power. Your friends and associates come to you for advice.
This week your horse rides above the clouds. You will be called upon to offer the highest level opinion on a very big project. Be bold with your voice. By the end of the week, an opportunity will be lost.

Thor February 6 to March 16

Thor is the grand defender of the realm. With your huge hammer and your strength, you bring calm and peace to conflict. You use your strength to strengthen others.
You will be asked to choose between the efforts of two colleagues. Lift both of their creations up and help them become co-creators. Mediate and moderate the tone of discussions on the weekend.

Loki March 17 to April 29

Loki is essentially the god of pranks and mischief-making. You bring levity and disruption to your relationships. As a shapeshifter, you are very difficult to get to know.
Tuesday isn’t a good time to cause discord. Use your humor to entertain rather than to provoke.In the final hours of the week, the fruits of last weeks interjection will be apparent.

Heimdallr April 30 to June 3

Heimdallr is the bridge between the powerful and the weak. You act as a peacemaker when discord rises above functional tension. You carry the weight of others and need to deliberately step back on occasion for self-care.
Your courage and conviction to bring collaboration from the fire of conflict are needed all week. Offer your reputation to and resources to save the day on Wednesday. Be honest about your willingness to continue without measurable results.

Magni and Modi June 4 to July 16

Thor’s sons are the contradiction of bravery and savagery. You are driven to succeed and can step over the line to get what you want. If you are on my side, you do what is needed to ensure that I am fulfilled.
Many associates are struggling at the beginning of the week with what seems like insurmountable barriers. You can help them knock some down and get around others.

Njord – God Of The Sea July 17 to July 20

Njord is the sea and the net. You represent abundance to many of your friends, but they don’t realize that you are longing for abundance and meaning in your relationships.
Loki and Odin are behind you on Thursday, so it is a great day to take the first step and ask someone that you have been admiring on a date. The weekend will be filled with invitations, accept them all.

Tyr – God Of War July 20 to September 1

Tyr is loyal and sacrifices himself and his desires for those he cares about. You go above and beyond what is expected to your own detriment.
You have been bearing the emotions and scars of your family for the past week so lay low on Tuesday and Wednesday to replenish your own cups.On Monday, you will be asked for a major concession. Consider it carefully.

Baldr – God Of Justice September 2 to October 17

Baldr is the god of justice. You have a strong sense of equity and work unceasingly to balance the scales and bring dignity and honor to the less fortunate.
Before noon on Wednesday, you will become aware of a disparity in your workplace, and you are the only one who has the credibility to speak up and redress it. Your reputation will be intact because of the actions you take not your inactions.
Frigg – Goddess of Family and Love October 18 to November 23

Frigg is one of the foremost goddesses of Norse mythology. You are empathetic and empathic, so you feel the joy and sorrow of others. You carry the sixth sense and can foresee future circumstances.
Caution is required on Saturday and Sunday. Revealing what you see in someone’s life can exacerbate the situation and create unwarranted anxiety and chaos. You recognize that a minor choice on Friday will lead to a big decision on Monday.

Bragi – God of Eloquence November 24 to December 31

Bragi had inspiration carved on his tongue, and he inspires creativity in others. You can persuade and influence with fluency, clarity, and humor.
It is time to express your gifts and change the direction of a small group of people who you care about. The direction they are going needs a different heading. At midday on Friday, be alert to instances where your influence will make the world a better place.

As always these Norse future casts are for entertainment and levity. Use discretion in how you receive and use all advise.

If you were amused or entertained you can always buy me a coffee by clicking the link on the right bottom.

Thanks

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Its Up to You (believe it or not)

February 1, 2018 Leave a comment

Are you optimistic, pessimistic, neutralistic? Is the world abundant, scarce or three bears just right? Is your view of the world about how you perceive the truth, your disposition, and/or your experiences? I can find myself feeling ‘hell-in-a-handbasket’ like my father, my grandfather and I am sure on occasion my grandchildren or I can deliberately expect and demand a different perspective from myself and different results from the world. My tendencies are a matter of wiring and if I don’t want to continue wallowing in self-pity I can undertake to rewire my brain to observe the magic, beauty, and mystery alongside the tragedy, hatred and vitriol.

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For me, it begins with morning meditation. I use a guided application called “Simple Habits” and practice is the first activity I schedule after my feet hit the floor. It isn’t a spiritual exercise as much as a consciousness and mindfulness kick start. This morning’s meditation was about gratitude for discomfort and how the aches and pains I feel physically and emotionally are likely my body and brain attempting to protect me from additional harm. Without feeling the twinge in my left Achille’s tendon, I might run until something snaps. If I didn’t feel anxious, I might jump off the next cliff without some measure of investigation and reflection. If I didn’t feel regret for not saying something to a loved one in a time of trouble, I might become callous and distant.
I don’t have any chronic conditions that cause me distress do I am not sure how someone could feel grateful for that kind of infliction but I encourage you to take a moment to understand and appreciate your stress, aches, or anxiety. Don’t allow yourself to wallow in it and don’t just accept the situation if there are options to improve or dissipate them.

My tactics for reframing are ecological, entertaining, and explicit. If I want to change my patterns, thoughts or actions I need to be aware of the surroundings that I find myself in and the surroundings that fit with how I see the changed self I want to become. In order to be more grateful, I can’t be surrounded by ungrateful or selfish people. I need to be surrounded by light, love, and learning. I can’t continue doing the same things in the same places in the same way that brought me to the valley of distrust and disappointment. For the circumstances to change, I need to change my where and how and who. Escaping from stinking thinking is essential. It means that there are people in my life today that can’t be in my life tomorrow. There are places I need to stop going and actions that I must stop undertaking. We all have a preferred or imagined ecology that fulfills more of our aspirations and unfortunately, it won’t manifest itself. We need to seek it out through our actions.

I can be shallow and unfocused and unless the change process is fun, I know that I might retreat to the depths that I am trying to escape. Fun need not be onerous or expensive. Meeting with uplifting people for an activity, a meeting, a coffee, a walk will put a smile on my face even when or because the conversation is an adventure. I met with three friends this morning for ninety minutes and we ranged across the sublime and inane to the profound and debatable. We laughed, we shared, we disagreed and we hugged. We expressed our gratitude for each other and the time spent and booked another gathering for a month from now. I left inspired, thankful and challenged. The stimulus of camaraderie and conversation caused neurons to fire against my hippocampus and began nurturing new pathways.

My final tactic; explicit is really an e word for intentional. ( I love alliteration so much that I always trying to catch it in my lists – ecological, entertaining, and explicit). In my worldview, nothing happens organically. Or nothing will predictably happen without intention. I must invest my resources and time in creating a V2.0 or V11.5 of me and I need to be vested in the outcome.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.

All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” ~ Johann Wolfgang van Goethe

Make Today Remarkable, by choice,

Bob

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Complacency

December 6, 2016December 6, 2016 Bob McInnisLeave a comment

If I take my relationships for granted (certainty) am I dooming them to the trash heap? I often am asked for marital advice and the only thing I can offer is ” that we work hard every day so we can live happily ever after”. It doesn’t happen organically or by accident. We need to intentionally focus on the needs of the other and how our actions create consequences for them. We make mistakes and take missteps and sometimes seemingly stop caring but quickly recognise the disruption and consciously make an effort to serve the relationship’s needs. I can’t offer suggestions as to what that would look like for you because each couple is unique and their requirements are unique.

It may look like spending time together – not just in the same space but sharing an experience together (probably not TV or a movie). Maybe it requires a small token; a gift of a special meal, a poem, a small significant personal item. It may mean that one or both need to share their deep affection for each other – maybe many times a day. Saying “I love you” with passion and sincerity can start a different trajectory. Follow the new direction and see where it takes you. Maybe someone needs to say ” I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how my words or actions might be heard or seen” I obviously need to say it more often because I can be blinded by my own stuff and oblivious to others.

The above paragraph isn’t meant to suggest that there is a quick fix. It is a continuous learning experience and like life a generative dynamic process. What was important 2 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 minutes ago might not have the same urgency tomorrow. Continuing to work and talk about the work, especially if that is counter to your tendencies doesn’t ensure success but not working and discussing significantly reduces the likelihood of the happily ever after fairy tale.

While I am not trying to convince you or unconvince you of anything, I contend that the most significant relationship in your life should be the highest priority in your life. Don’t wait until you are financially secure, established in your career, or less busy with children to make a loving commitment to each other, today. When your time on the planet comes to an end you won’t think ” I wish I had spent more time at work, running madly in all directions, piling up more stuff” You might feel ” I should have spent more time and energy with my partner” and you would probably be right.

Make Today Remarkable by saying yes to your relationship,
B

Self Improvement

The Gift of Fear

August 23, 2016 Bob McInnisLeave a comment

“I don’t run away from a challenge because I am afraid. Instead, I run toward it because the only way to escape fear is to trample it beneath your feet.”
– Nadia Comaneci

fear is a liar

If someone who overcame every day, tried harder and became one of the best gymnasts of all time can trample big fears surely we can stomp out ours by charging ahead and taking them on. I am not suggesting that we take dangerous and crazy risks just to prove we are brave but I think we all can learn to face down our fears by facing them, acknowledging them and still moving forward.

I have written about intentional versus organic often, some may say ad nauseum and believe that nothing happens without deliberate action. But intention without action is as empty as waiting for the world to change or improve on its own. So if you are facing fears, anxiety or uncertainty you can’t just intend to face them – because you won’t. Saint Bernard of Clairvaux (1091-1153), wrote more than 1000 years ago “Hell is full of good intentions or desires.” The quote is often mistakenly attributed to Samuel Johnson because James Boswell in “The Life of Samuel Johnson LL.D.” ,1791, records that “No saint, however, in the course of his religious warfare, was more sensible of the unhappy failure of pious resolves, than Johnson. He said one day, talking to an acquaintance on this subject, “Sir Hell is paved with good intentions.”

Nancy Bouwens in “3 Ways Facing Fear Will Make You Brave” offers these steps;

1. Take the first step while still afraid. Hesitation is the enemy, it holds you in the current state and makes excuses for not acting.

2. Brave means standing your ground. Once you have taken the first step retreat isn’t an option. Internal forces and external ‘threats’ will try to make you back down. If you do, know that you are defeated.

3. Brave means not giving in. Overcoming fear isn’t a one step process. You may be afraid in certain situations for a long time. But quitting isn’t a small step backward, it is a return to the trap and paralysis.

Courage is the opposite of conformity and when we are courageous we are at our best.

Make Today Remarkable, by being afraid and acting anyway,

Self Improvement

Intellegently Intentional

July 4, 2016July 4, 2016 Bob McInnisLeave a comment

Intentional action builds culture and culture trumps rules every time. If the changes you want in your world aren’t happening, you need to ask “am I acting as if they will, working as if I can move the needle, and am I in the right place with the right people?”
It is easier, quicker and more fun creating a positive culture of work, support, community rather than trying to change a toxic environment. Once the air stinks, no appoint of Febreeze will remove it unless the source of the odour is removed. If you are in a unhealthy or abusive arrangement a work, home or play it is likely that you will need to find an exit strategy to free yourself.
If you feel the air going bad, you can speak up and act out to build a world that works for everyone, including you. The time to build is before it turns sour and then realize that there needs to be constant vigilance in keeping the naysayers and scarcity soothsayers at bay by being honest, transparent, vocal and brave.
There is nothing organic about culture or relationships or community. We need to work hard every day to ensure that ‘happily ever after’ is a reality. That means listening when someone else is speaking, hearing what they are really saying, responding to their statement (not what you want the topic to be), allowing time, seeking clarification, being helpful, being honest, and being brave ( I repeat this here because bravery is in short supply in our world).

There will be tension – that is what gets us past the mediocre. There will be disagreement – that is what challenges and creates teaching moments. There will be insincerity – we are all fallible and insecure. There will be fun – that is bi-product of community that shares. There will be trials – how would we know the victories without some tests. There will be mistakes – awesome. There will not be a silver bullet, magic elixir, Android app that will make the work easy or convenient. If you are ‘in’, be ‘in’ for the long haul. Long isn’t for ever and the changing world we face ensures that everything likely as a much shorter best before date than we originally considered. Don’t take offense or wring your hands when things change and culture shifts or community dissolves. Celebrate the opportunity you have today to be the best communicator, career, challenger, and collaborator you can be – today. But don’t beat yourself up too badly when you realize that on some (for me many) days you weren’t the best. Tomorrow is a fresh start. Learn from yesterday. Make any amends you need to make early in the fresh start. Rebuild relationships and recommit to understanding and respecting the culture you are swimming in. Step back of necessary and realize that you get to choose/create the atmosphere that you are inhaling and that it can make you wiser, nicer, and better or it can poison you and bring out your ego that wants to control, criticize, and crash the work you are doing.
Perseverance; the ability to commit and execute day after day isn’t easy but know that it is worthwhile. At the end of the day, at the end of our days, or maybe when we live through a great shift, the only thing that will have value is the community and reciprocity it brings. All material objects will wear out, lose value, or cause more grief than glee. Only in the way that we share our gifts in relationship, our concern in compassion and our joy in jubilation will stand the test of time.

Make Today Remarkable, by being intentional,
B

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Kindness

April 15, 2016 Bob McInnisLeave a comment

From “Random Acts of Kindness”

“Imagine a world.
Where people look out for each other.
Where we all pay it forward.
Where success is measured in selfless acts.
Where kindness is the philosophy of life.”

I love the image I get from the quote and even though they use the word random in their domain name I appreciate the intentionality expressed in the vision. We need to choose to be kind every day. I need to pick kindness over rudeness or stubbornness in more situations. When I appreciate all the kindness I receive I am kinder so I need to be more observant and thankful.

I have had hundreds of people watching my back over the years (one still does it daily) and I have been pretty good at looking out for others who were under attack. I confess that there have been too many times that I was the attacker or joined in on the verbal assault. In recognizing that I can watch for the signs that I am about to be unkind and examine my motives. They are rarely going to be justified and I hope the evaluation curbs the urge to pile on with unnecessary vitriol.

I am in the company of remarkable people again today so being kind should be easier but what about Monday or Thursday or …

I am practicing kindness today with the hope that I get better at it and that it becomes habitual.

Make Today Remarkable, by being kind.

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Intentional Foolishness

March 2, 2016 Bob McInnis3 Comments

“Foolishness is a twin sister of wisdom.” –Witold Gombrowicz, Polish author

Choosing to be foolish is a difficult task. Allowing the fear of embarrassment to confront you and then push it away can be daunting. Yesterday was one serious conversation after another and it wasn’t until I was Skyping with my grandkids that I felt ‘safe’ to be foolish. We made faces and told silly stories and we all smiled (a lot).

“The point of living and of being an optimist is to be foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come.” –Peter Ustinov, English actor and writer

Some of the tension around the potential discomfit is the perceived response from others. Will they shake their head and roll their eyes? Will they snort in derision? Will they laugh at you or with you? Why should I care? I am an optimist who believes in the capability of all people. I have been disappointed and surprised when my optimism is unwarranted or exceeded. When I have had the courage to intentionally inject silliness into my day, I feel joy and I see relief and happiness on the faces of those around me. I am not silly all the time ( likely not often enough) but when I am I choose to be optimistic about the impact.

“Superstition is foolish, childish, primitive and irrational–but how much does it cost you to knock on wood?” –Judith Viorst, American author and journalist

I will pay the small cost of knocking on wood, telling a joke, dancing in the street because the return on that investment might be the best one I am making.

foolish face