Tag: life

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Teamwork · Uncertainty

Adventure

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Life can be lived as a straight line, but why would we. The straight path begins at birth and ends at death and society suggests a certain prescribed direction and milestones. Following the recipe leads to accolades and improvising is met with criticism. Staying the course delivers routine, predictable, mediocre while stepping off the trail and seeking out a life, less conventional, brings adventure and unexpected opportunities and challenges. If you have read this far and can’t imagine why anyone would stray from the safety of the formula you have been following, you might want to click through to Facebook or Daily News where comfort is waiting.

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Well, welcome to my adventurous friends. One of the definitions for adventure on Urban Dictionary is; For some, it’s a new pair of underwear, a different route to work or a new pizza topping. For other’s it’s a life-threatening outdoor experience that makes life worth living. The experience usually involves loss of digits, limbs, friends or all of the above. Just to be clear, I am not counseling the loss of anything important. If you lose your breath for a moment, your confidence for a second, your sanity for a while, or your insecurity for a week, I would be thrilled.

An adventure has a beginning and probably has an ending even when we aren’t sure of the destination. For me, the start is a reflection and assessment of me. Where am I right now, what skills do I have and what do I want to learn are more important than what others might think. I try not to worry about how others may define it; if it feels like an adventure to me, it qualifies. While I strive to be unique, I recognize that there is very little new under the sun. I find inspiration and instruction (but not prescriptions) in the lives of those I admire. Whether reading history, fantasy or mystery I am tweaked by the choices and actions of protagonists and antagonists alike.I don’ want to be them or live their lives but there are elements that I steal and synthesize for my current journey. I am encouraged by characters, real and imagined, that are curious, courageous and caring. I am amazed by the distance they will go and the effort they will expend to learn. live and love. At the onset of all adventures, I feel some fear and the inertia is strong. I ask myself lots of why questions to free myself from the gravity of familiar. ” Why do I want to do this?” ” Why am I stalling?” ” Why can’t I take the first step?” ” Why do I need to take this uncertain path?” Before I venture too far, I wonder if there is someone to share the experience with and/or someone who will help shoulder the load. If yes, then I extend a transparent clear invitation to them and provide them with a schedule including a deadline to respond. As I go through life, I am also open to receiving requests to join. My tendency is to lean towards saying “yes” so I sometimes overcompensate away from the default. The collaboration serves to temper my exuberance and hopefully, a second, third or fourth set of eyes will see any real danger that I might ignore.

I don’t let the backup support network make decisions for me but I do heed their counsel. I have enough latitude to ensure that I will play free and easy enough to make numerous mistakes and learn numerous lessons along the way. I get to choose to do the unexpected along the way even if it is obvious that there is a ‘better’ way or maybe because I am not looking for the obvious better way.

In the end, when I reach the destination or when I am sure that I am not going to get there, I try to celebrate. Adventure allows for gratitude in both circumstances and if I am willing and patient it offers information and data that can change the approach in subsequent attempts or act as fodder to create another opportunity.

Seeking out adventurous in our daily life can be difficult and daunting. Starting with smaller challenges might not be worthy of someone writing a book or movie, but they can act as momentum for something bigger. Read an online blog or journal written by someone you disagree with and then take an issue or position that you ‘truly’ believe in and write 250 words debating your firmly held position. Try cooking something new. Google Icelandic recipes or Bolivian food and try creating one of the dishes. Take a child to a trampoline centre or mini golf course. Sign up for a fitness class at the Spin or Rowing facility. Drive a completely new route to somewhere that you regularly go. Leave your phone at home for one day. Apply for a new job, even if you aren’t looking. Apologize for something that you have neglected. Start a side gig. Create a business that you are passionate about (small scale) and figure out how you can deliver something of value and add some new money to your wallet.

This early list isn’t exhaustive or comprehensive but don’t let the list or your indecision stop you. Do something manageably adventerous, today and get ready for something bigger.

 

If you were inspired, provoked or entertained by this post you can ‘buy me a coffe’ by clicking the button on the right

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Are you Courageous?

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

Courage; where does yours come from? Courage isn’t the opposite of fear, it is the opposite of complacency. Complacency is the bastard child of certainty and convenience. When those two get together, they sap our curiousity, commitment, collaboration and destroys our courage by convincing us to continue clamoring confidently along. When we believe we are right, we don’t need to be courageous – just stubborn. When convenience removes all challenges or worse convinces us to avoid circumstances that cause inconvenience, we get stuck deeper in the muck of mediocrity (complacency’s cousin). It doesn’t take much mediocrity to bring about inertia. When the muck gets above our knees we become paralyzed.

Does it sound like a terrible state and a trap to be avoided? I spend a lot of my day reminding myself that I need to create a bit of chaos so I remain curious and vigilant.

The practice of avoiding complacency and encouraging courage, for me, is about embracing a bit of ambiguity in every moment.
I avoid over analyzing circumstances, which is an easier practice than I imagined. If I start digging into weeds, I lift up my head and think about the garden and the sky. If I go all big picture and start considering the global ramifications, I try to focus on the bottom of my feet and breathe deeply.

I have, thanks to Gretchen Rubin and Bernadette Jiwa’s work, adopted a habitual morning practice. It still causes me some angst to say that because I once felt that habit was a handcuff. But now I begin my day at 5am with a guided meditation and some language learning. By the time I get to my first coffee I have awakened my heart with reflection and my brain with a small challenge. The remainder of the morning before a run or workout has me roaming news and information sites. A forty minute to an hour exercise session takes me to 07:30 and the routine ends. The rest of the day can feel like fire fighting (some of the flare ups that I started) and work with clients and causes.

While I am often sharing responsibility for my time with appointments and meetings I avoid letting someone else highjack my agenda for the day. The choices I make either lead me to predictability or adventure. Predictably I usually choose adventure. If I believed in destiny, I would say ” I am destined for the next adventure” or ” Adventure is my destiny”. If I succumb to spending 12 hours working on a clients problem and curtail my personal plan for one day, I can make up for it. But if a demanding issue, that isn’t within my manifesto, begins to consume me I need to take back ownership of my schedule.

In an effort to combat certainty and manifest courage, I passionately stand up for my values and respectfully listen for points of agreement and points of diversion and then try to understand and synthesize differing points of reference and view. In diplomatically defending my ideas, I am forced to consider the why, what, where of the views and why I am so sure that they are valid. I bring myself to listen to and hear opinions and ‘facts’ that differ from mine and consider why, what, where again. It is hard to get complacent when I intentionally put myself on a rollercoaster.

In my bravest moments, I am not afraid of the change that comes from embracing uncertainty. I still surprise myself when I hear my voice digging in on a position with defensive posturing. ” Experts have shown”, ” We all know”, “The facts are” are all cowardly bullying if I am sincere in exploring new ideas and testing old ones.

I try to avoid definitive statements, definitive articles, and definitive tone when in a discussion or friendly debate. My curiousity should be to understand not to win points. If I practice an indefinate approach and keep my head, hands and heart open, I will hear, see, and feel the world differently and that is what excites me.

Make Today Remarkable, by exploring the impossible, embracing the unimagined and trying the undoable,

Bob

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Marmota Monax Die

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Groundhog Day 2016 – The day where the decision of a woodchuck or Thickwood Badger determines the fate of a community.  In the dead of winter in New England, sometime in the late 18th century folks began feeling serious cabin fever. They concocted a contest, likely of of boredom and maybe some hope. It has grown to the place where a groundhog named Phil in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania forecasts the seasons by whether he sees his shadow when he crawls out of a hole.

The date took on a new meaning when in 1993  Bill Murray began reliving the same day over and over and over in a movie of the same name. Groundhog Day has worked it’s way into the colloquial and has been used to describe slow moving progress.

Regardless of the date, we can all get stuck in a rut that becomes motivation numbing and possibility blinding. In Groundhog Day  Murray’s character, a weather forecaster named Phil, relives the same routine he has been experiencing for months, years. He wakes up on February 2 and plans on ‘phoning in’ his morning forecast. Things begin to repeat themselves and in the repetition Phil begins to try to change the outcome and eventually changes himself.

I have written about Gretchen Rubin’s book Better Than Before  where she says “If you want to make a change in your life you need to change something in your routine”. The book is about habits and how changing higher order habits can be liberating. I always thought tht habits were a handcuff but have discovered that when I make a higher order decision ( Live a healthier lifestyle) then most lower order decisions (run or not run) become moot. I get to change and improve every day because I chose something different from the day before.

A smaller lesson from Phil (both of them) is that you can’t really change things beyond your control (most) or other people. I, you, we can change and should change , especially today something in our routine but stay away from trying to force your colleague or family to embrace your change.

Tomorrow, I will let you know what I changed (big or smaller) and would appreciate if part of your Groundhog Day celebration includes letting us know what you changed in the comments.

 

Make Today Remarkable,

B

 

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The Most of My Time

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

If I want to be a legend what do I need to do with my years to make the best use of the 80ish years I have? Can I have a more positive impact in the next 20 years than the last 20? Who is important in my life and how do I add value to theirs? What will be the measure of legendary when my times- relationships, money, influence, change, charity? All of them?

To make 20 years count I need to make each year count and each month and each week and each day. I need to be discerning and judicious without being an evangelical pain in the butt about each hour. “Is this the best way that I can spend this hour?” ” Will this move me closer to my goals or stall me in the mud?” ” Can I be closer to my grandsons if I choose to do X?” “What gift does this hour bring to a life lived fully?”

I can be a bit of a zealot when I reframe my path and need to find some ‘goofing off’ time for personal harmony. If I understand that I am recharged by certain activities that don’t have an easy metric towards the preferred future then I can cut myself some slack. 1 hour a day do do whatever I want seems reasonable for me. Is 1/24 somewhere near what you need? The 4% slack is what I am striving for this year  and I am keeping an eye  on how I feel and what I achieve. If I need more or less slack, I will adjust on the fly.

Do get where I want my life to be in 2036, I need to read, write, run, rest, relate, recreate, recompense and refresh. If about 30% of my day is in resting and 4% assigned  to slack then I need to be thinking about where I put an hour running, two hours writing, six hours working I still have 8-10 hours to add value to myself and those around me.

Sounds like a plan. Another easy to say, harder to do practice.

B

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Curiousity Didn’t Kill the Cat

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You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over. ~ Richard Branson

When you stop being curious, you begin to dig your own grave.  For some the hole gets completed quickly and they mercifully pass. For others they drone into a life full of blah and stifling boredom.  Just behind your right ear (about 10 cm ) is the curiousity bone ( Latin – curiosulus). Every morning before you head into the world, take the index finger of your left hand and rub vertically on the the curiosulus for 30 seconds and wonder what unimagined event, idea, opportunity or challenge might arrive in your field of vision today. Take the next 5 minutes to ponder how that instance might change your disposition, position or opinion.

After activating curiousity, it needs a bit of care and feeding so you will need to to repeat this exercise at 11:21 and 19:37. Just before you go to bed take the middle finger of your right hand and massage the curiosulus horizontally. This embeds the new ideas and memories into your bank and creates fresh space for tomorrow’s adventures.

Make Today (and tomorrow) Remarkable, by being curious,

B

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Meaning Making

Bob McInnis1 Comment

I said it again yesterday ” I have 168 hours every week, I sleep less than 68 so I have 100 hours every week to fill with meaning making stuff.” What does that look like? Well I hope that the 7-10 hours a week maintaining this blog counts. The 10-20 hours a week of other writing, 10-20 hours reading and researching, 10-20 responding to inquiries, 30 hours coaching clients, 5 – 10 hours volunteering, 10 hours on personal fitness, 5 hours on spiritual refreshing, 40 hours caring for family and friends, 20 hours exploring my world all are meaning making.

We create meaning by being intentional in how we approach the day-to-day, how we celebrate the extraordinary and how we curiously seek new relationships and ongoing learning. Once I figure out what meaning I am making in a given situation; coaching – helping clients solve their problems, cleaning – making our world safer and more pleasant, reading – expanding my perspective … then I should (should because I don’t always) ask “how can I do this better/differently so that meaning is magnifies. Meaning making is a productivity practice. Dr. Amy Wrzesniewski’s research indicates that “people with callings ( meaning making) are different. They see their work as a positive end in itself. They feel good about what they’re doing. They give more to their work. They get more from it. And here’s a secret about people with callings: Not only are they happy and fulfilled, they’re often very successful, sometimes bringing financial rewards.”

Meaning

Creating meaning requires that we look for meaning in our lives, not life in general. Writing a journal of  your activities can be helpful, if you go back and reflect on how … made meaning for you and/or someone/something else. The reflection is also helpful because it will show you where your time is spent not being meaningful. You can then choose to do nothing or do something else.

We make the most meaning, have the most impact and find the most enjoyment doing those things that we are perfectly suited for (where we are skilled and passionate). Contrary to some thought, being well rounded doesn’t make us better. I have long since dismissed the idea that I should work on my weaknesses. I focus on my strengths, acknowledge that certain details elude me and appreciate the forest. That in itself has helped me become more effective, more energized and happier.

What charges your batteries? What meaning making makes you buzz? How can you do more/better? A coach or ally might be able to help you get the meaning motor running.

Make Today Remarkable and full of meaning,

B

UPDATE

I received this post from Awaken the morning after this post.

“Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.

What matters is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person’s life at a given moment. One should not search for an abstract meaning of life. Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life to carry out a concrete assignment which demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone’s task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”

— Victor Frankl, “Man’s Search For Meaning“
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Becoming a Legend

Bob McInnisLeave a comment

On the weekend I was visiting the Surf Museum in Oceanside California, scouting out their vintage, gently used shirt collection and had a great conversation with a volunteer. We talked about retail and plovers and waves and seismic sensors. She asked ” Do you have a membership? If you are a legend, over 62, it only costs $25″. I wasn’t offended by her assertion that I look that old but rather taken by the category.

I have heard senior, retired person, retiree, golden ager, old timer, pensioner, geriatric and old fart but never legend. I love the idea and maybe I have enough time to truly qualify. I have 629 days until October 17, 2016 when I turn 62 years old.

I love the category of Legend but just surviving 22,642 days doesn’t seem like enough of an accomplishment to warrant the title.

Every day I am committed to consciously consider how my actions, intentions, ideas, words, work and play might contribute to leading a larger-than-life story that is worthy of admiration. Even if I don’t get there, it will be a blast trying. I can’t even imagine the possibilities that are awaiting now that I have put this statement out to the world.

Make Today Legendary,

Bob