Self Improvement · Teamwork · Uncertainty

Human-scaled Dreams

Where I live, we just came through months of debate, discussion, dialogue, vitriol, sloganeering and dreaming about hosting the 2026 Winter Olympics. This Big Idea was supposed to create imagination, energy, economic output, and reenergize our City. After a referendum, the debate is over. 56% of voters chose not to support the bid. The morning after – there was lots of ringing of hands (understandable) and accusations. ” Now what big idea will save us?”

It got me wondering about human-scaled dreams and human-scaled actions. Would 10,000 dreams taking flight lift our city to new heights? Could we learn about each other and what we are capable of if 10,000 people recruited 10 people to come alongside them and undertake a project to bring beauty, equity, economy, creativity, imagination to life?
Would the as-yet-unimagined be the impetus for us to make our great city even greater? I think so.
I am interested in what you think? 10,000 Dreams for YYC. Would you be a part of the journey? What popped into your mind as a project? or Am I tilting windmills, again?

Let me know,

B

Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Give it a Try

What do you do in your leisure time? No leisure – sad and dangerous. The expression: add life to your days not just days to your life” is hard to manage but in the 21st century, we need to heed the essence of the message.

Do you have hobbies? Are you a musician, an artist, a writer, a knitter, a sailor, a cyclist, a cellist, a baker, a canner, a gardener? When was the last time you did something for the first time?

This weekend, next week, tomorrow, this afternoon find something to do that you have never tried. If you are reading this, you have access to the world and everything in it. Find a free online Tai Chi class, a Skillshare painting class, or an online book club. Search your community for events and activities. There is a big cleanup happening in our neighborhood.
Join a rowing class, walk a pathway and record how many robins you see. Stretch yourself and make a deposit on something more outrageous like music lessons, climbing lessons and dancing lessons.

Add some life to your days by adding something as yet unimaginable to your next 168 hours.

B

Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Dear Me

I have been around some young people over the past weeks and am excited by their passion and troubled by their despair (in the same person (or maybe all persons)).
I don’t seem to have any meaningful advice for them to celebrate their enthusiasm or lift them from their anguish. Ther swings, which I suffered because of a mental illness, are wide and deep. I don’t know what to say because when I was bouncing from manic to depressive, nothing helped and almost everything hurt. If someone significant in my life reached out, I rejected them and their words because they couldn’t understand what I was going through.
I started wondering, what advice the today I would give to the fifteen-year-old? What should I tell/remind the seventy-five-year-old version? Does distance give me any perspective?
Dear 15 year-old Me,
I do remember what you are going through. The pain and sorrow that couldn’t be labelled but was tempered by pulling the blankets up over your ears and screaming in silence. The weight on your chest didn’t leave but it hurt a little less when the sights and sounds of the world were walled away. I remember the shrieking tension that rose up as a reversal of emotions waded slowly through the muck. The extraordinarily bright light, the squishiness of your palette at the touch of your tongue, the nauseating speed of everything swirling around me without seeming to make progress were welcomed because it meant that in minutes, hours or days I would be at the top of my game; unstoppable, invincible, joyous and delicious. It all passed and I survived even when I didn’t want to. The best advice is just that -” This too shall pass”. It sounds meaningless and trite but so would the medical explanation that took another 25 years to uncover. Knowing that the anxiety didn’t have a foundation and that whether some girl liked me or hated me isn’t the end of the world isn’t helpful or at 15 even believable. I could offer that when it passes, you will once again be stronger and eventually you will have the courage to share the depths and the heights with someone who cares and she will ‘insist’ that you seek professional help. After a few years of evading, avoiding and resisting you will relent and in your case that is the beginning of a more joyful and productive life. This too shall pass.
With hope,
Me, nearing retirement

Dear 75 year-old Me,

Looking at you from 13 years in the past, I see a vibrant, loving, caring man. Someone who is still healthy. Someone who is joyously still married and sharing a meaningful life with your beloved of more than 50 years. The perspective from this vantage point is that all of that is possible and if you aren’t living hale and hearty and happy, it is my fault. I didn’t set you up by continuing to build on the good blessings of today.
I know you have a great relationship with your grandchildren because I strived to keep the relationships meaningful and unique. You are aging well, with little stress and still living an adventure because that is how I engineered the years between 60 and 75. Even if an illness has arisen, I took the steps to mitgate it and I battled the demon to a draw so you can live in an abundance of love, laughter and learning.My advice to you as I turn 75 is “accept your responsibilities for today – to love well, laugh loud, leap and learn, and accept your responsibility to set up the 90 year-old us for a remarkable encore with great grandchildren and wisdom and wonder and love”

With hope and confidence,

Today Me

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Today

It was a grueling race and I needed to slow to a walk on a couple of hills but all in all a great track and a good run. I finished in the middle of the pack 122/260 and won my age group. Good thing I am getting older and most of the competition is getting younger. I said ” if I can still do this at 70, I should still be able to do a lot of things.

The remainder of the day was spent with my favorite person; my beloved in one of my favorite places. I think we like Canmore so much because we don’t have it every day, every week or even every month. There is no familiarity that breeds complacency. We saw new sites and spent some money on hats and a gift. One of our haunts had elocated to a new location but we passed their vacant digs first and were disappointed that it wasn’t there. Finding it a block north was like finding it anew. The streets of Canmore were busy on a cool Saturday afternoon and coffee at Beamers was delicious and entertaining. The international crowd; young travelers passing through the mountain parks or those that are working their way across North America and are spending a few months here seem to pick this crowded little shop. The buzz of accents and foreign languages are always uplifting. Three young guys, speaking German approached the counter and I didn’t hear there order but the question ” do you want whip cream with that” needed translation. I am not sure if he was satisfied with his friend’s version but I hope he enjoyed the topping on his cup.

After 40 years there is lots of familiarity between myself and my partner. We grew up together and were married very young. She supports me in all the craziness that is my life and all the stuff that I want to try. She was cheering loudly and snapping pictures at the race and was at the finish line with water and a congratulatory kiss. She ‘mothered’ me enough to make sure I had enough water, stretched and cooled down and then refueled with food and fruit from the race tables. It isn’t a control issue, she just loves me and knows me. She also knows that if I feel like I am being ‘made’ to do anything, I can dig in my size 9 1/2 shoes up to my heels and stubbornly ignore even the best of suggestions.

While the storefronts change and the inventory is different or even if we are strolling an avenue together for the first time, there is a camaraderie, a rhythm and an easiness that comes from 15000 hand-in- hand walks we have shared. We offer each other sensitive feedback on whether some garment or toy works or is a good buy. I make decisions easily so her advice usually tempers an impulse and I can be honest if I think something makes her look like her much older sister. We both ended up with new hats that we were told ” You guys rock those hats” so are pretty confident about the choices. Although the compliment did come from the staff at the store so she maybe had an ulterior motive.
When we are together, we don’t often finish each other’s sentences because most often we know that we are thinking the same thing. In some ways “we share a brain” and are so completely in sync. People who know us recognize the rhythm, but also would say that “you guys are so different from each other”. It is in the knowledge that we have history, ups and downs, shared victories and losses, and the confidence to say what needs to be said that we are free to see the world so differently. I see big pictures and am destination focused. Without her I wouldn’t see the beauty and curiousity of nature and would never have found Beamers with my nose. We compliment and tease, we keep the other in mind when making decisions, we live independent lives, and we work hard every day to continue to live happily ever after.
In the consistent and in the unexpected we share our joy and sorrow and in the differences we learn and are challenged to learn. Somehow sharing live together, this way brings fulfillment and in our daily appreciation of these blessings we acknowledge how fortunate we are to have found the other.

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Wear a Smile

A smile can turn a conflict into a conversation. A fight into a hug. Why don’t we do a disarmament and replace all the weapons with more smiles? I feel better when I smile, I probably look better when I am smiling and others react better when I offer a sincere smile. Life is better when you are smiling even if the circumstances haven’t changed our physiology and brain mapping has. A smile is a placebo that works in all situations. Turn the corners of your mouth upward and let the twinkle in your eyes come out and you will see changes that wouldn’t have occurred otherwise.

You don’t need to feel giddy or even joyful to smile. The process of letting your face muscles make your brain muscles shift and tweak your emotions is remarkable. You can be sad and smile. Mad and smile. You can stand, sit, and dance while you smile, You can smile alone or in a group. When you are alone, smiling in a mirror doubles the unimaginable shift.

Smile
You should smile when you feel tension or when you feel a sneeze.
You will smile when someone hugs you or tickles your wee knees.
Smiling raises your expectations and clears your troubled heart.
It will give you motivation and create a place to start.

Make Your Day Remarkable, by smiling,

B

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Receiving and Giving

Day 2 Towards Fulfillment

In the list I made yesterday (I imagine yours too), there were things that I want to do, things I want to have, things that I want to be known for, and things that I want to share.

We are innately wired  to receive, sometimes with grace and other times in selfishness. most of us aren’t really great at receiving. We either take it for granted, don’t accept it as sincere or are blown away by the generousity. Our culture has convinced (or is trying to convince) us that we have a ‘right’ to stuff, either physical or emotional. But what if fulfillment started in not what we receive but in what we share?

giving

What if our lives are better, bigger, bolder and beautiful when we share our time, our money, our gifts, our love with those around us? In relationships we shouldn’t ask “why aren’t you doing those little things you used to do” but instead become the doer of all those little things. In community we shouldn’t be the one standing on the sidelines waiting for a neighbour to ask for assistance but rather we should be the guy who leans over the fence and says ” I’ve got a couple hours, can I help you with that?”.   With strangers we shouldn’t wait to receive a smile but … With servers we shouldn’t wait for their courtesy but rain courtesy on them. We can be the bringer of joy, assistance and value to almost everyone we meet.

The door to fulfillment opens a crack every time you are a giver without an expecttion of receiving.

 

Make Today Remarkably Giving,

B

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Do You Love It?

Are you accurately representing who you are to the world around you? Is what you say and write true to your values? Do you love what you are saying?

There seems to be so much pressure to conform. Pressure to be something that you are not – not radically different (at first) but tilted slightly away from your core. Being, thinking or acting differently should be an advantage but in many arenas, individualism is becoming a disadvantage.

I blame (tongue firmly in cheek) American Idol etal. No matter how amazing an individual talent is, if it doesn’t fit the narrow band of judgement (read conformity) you don’t move on. Eventually, it all sounds like minor variations on the same theme.

Television has mastered conformity. Law and Order, NCIS, Chicago Any Emergency and the similarity between all the reality programs leads to echo thinking and deadens creativity. That is likely why the formula of ‘popular’ culture makes money is that it feeds on the pressure to be the same.

You have a remarkable, ingenious, amazing gift waiting to be set free but it is trapped behind the facade of agree-ability; how well can you be seen to agree with the norm. If you don’t love what you are saying, say something else. If you don’t love who you are seen  to be, be someone else. Let your gift shine for you and keep it shining in the face of any resistance (external or internal). By loving what you are saying, you get to love who you are becoming.

Make Today the Remarkable You Day,

B

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Are You Living Your Life?

Are you living your life or merely passing through it? The world presents each of us with this great gift, every day. Each morning that I continue to breathe, there are possibilities – new challenging and exciting. Putting my head down, burying my head in the sand, eyes shut tightly doesn’t change the world but it changes how I live in it.

In a few hours another page turns and an arbitrary marker (January 1,2016) begins. This is the best time, or at least as good as any to begin living your life to its fullest potential. In the first week of the new year – do 7 things for the first time, meet 7 people that you don’t know, walk 7 miles, read 7 chapters, share something 7 times, say “I love you” 7 times, celebrate 7 remarkable things.

May 2016 be filled with possibility, passion, prosperity, and problems in perfect proportion.

B

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Belief is a Choice

Belief is a choice, like trust and bravery. Trust and belief are choices, once made become invisible. If you make the choice to not believe, it is always the lens you view the world through.

On November 3, 1929, Robert Ripley  drew a panel in his syndicated cartoon saying “Believe It or Not, America has no national anthem. “Despite the widespread belief that “The Star-Spangled Banner”, was the United States national anthem, congress had never officially proclaimed it.  By a law signed on two years later, by President Herbert Hoover, “The Star-Spangled Banner” was adopted as the national anthem of the United States. That was the beginning of Ripley’s real fame.

The 1930s saw Ripley expand his presence into other media. In 1930, he began a fourteen-year run on radio. Ripley recorded live radio shows from underwater, the sky, caves, snake pits, and foreign countries. The next year he hosted the first of a series of two dozen Believe It or Not! theatrical short films. In 1932, Ripley opened his first museum, the Odditorium, in Chicago in 1933. The concept was a success, and at one point there were Odditoriums in San Diego, Dallas, Cleveland, San Francisco, and New York City. By this point in his life, Ripley had been voted the most popular man in America. He asked millions worldwide to believe or not – make a choice.

Choosing to Believe Changes the View. (2)

Once you choose to believe – 2+2=4, Man landed on the moon, Jesus is the risen Lord, your partner loves you … all forms of opportunity presents itself because of the lens you are viewing. Some choices are or we think are empirical like the earth is round and we can use ‘evidence’ to analyse and decide. Some are philosophical like helping the poor is laudable and we opt for the one that fits with existing values. In love emotions can be the measure that tips the believe scale. Loyalty, faith, experience and intuition contribute in varying measure to the choice, depending on the circumstance and occasion.

Regardless of how the choice is made, once made a new viewpoint opens and we see this world with brightness.

This choice, like all our choices can be reversed or altered, for an equal number of combinations of reasons. Today, choose to believe that you are loved (you really are). Fake it if you must. In every situation today make the choice to believe that you are admired, accepted and adored. How does this one choice change your day? How would making a habit of believing change your life?

Make Today Remarkable, by choosing to believe,

B

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Bitter and Sweet

There is a young girl, 9 years old, who often asks me ” So, what was your bitter and your sweet yesterday? Last week? Last month?” She offers me a great reminder and one that I need to hear – take some time to reflect. Pause, breathe, appreciate and measure. I wear a talisman that says Breathe and even with it touching my wrist and always being present, I can find myself running to or away all day. So when I am not asked the bitter and sweet question, I need to remind myself.

Bitter -Monday, it was raining here in Oceanside, California all morning. I come to southern California for sunshine so it was disappointing to have clouds hang around until early afternoon. This are is still suffering from a drought so of course my bitter is someone else’s sweet and I did get to see a spectacular lightening show over the ocean and have a remarkable March day full of afternoon sunshine and happy hour on the patio.

Sweet – We picked up my 87 year old mother at the airport. She is still able to travel (with some assistance) and still loves to fly, tour and see and learn new things. Watching her eyes sparkle as she laughs at something silly or talks about our trip to Culver City this week to see a taping of Jeopardy is sweet. Before we left for the airport we saw a lost seal lion pup get rescued (50 this spring just in this area) and headed for the safety and rehabilitation of Sea World. He was terrified and relieved ( my anthropomorphic interpretation) and will survive but alone without his mother. Side note the suspicion is that this coastal region has exceeded carrying capacity for the population and mothers are searching for food deeper and farther from their babies.

What is your bitter and your sweet? Keep a journal for a week and I suspect you will see some of them flow together.

Make Today Remarkable, by pausing, breathing, appreciating and measuring,

B