I try to be the fixer of situations and I gravitate to people who are institutional misfits.
~Stephan Jenkins

Apparently in fashion, garments that are made with irregularities  are known as misfits. I love that I was created with quirks and flaws and that they become more apparent every day. Most days, in most ways, misfits alter the trajectory of their lives and those around them. Their drum beats differently and they  seem to be going against the flow.

I don’t understand misfits even though I am one. The brand isn’t categorical and the characteristics are varied but all of them I know reject lemming or sheep behaviour and have a tendency to rail in the wind or to howl at the moon. When I generalize them (dangerous to do) I imagine that they have a purpose to their lives, one that they recognize and act on (even when I or the world disagrees with them). Other ways to identify them are that they are either young or old, have red, blonde, black , green or blue hair (or a combination or none). If they aren’t tall then they are short or average. They work long hours or have figured out harmony. They are tone deaf and pragmatic or poetic and artistic.

They might be born misfitish but nurture as a child and conflict as an adult can accentuate the best of it. If you live with a misfit – love them and accept them. Challenge them when they are rude or cruel, celebrate them when they are clever or funny and walk a few steps with them and their drumbeat everyday, just to understand them better.

Make Today Misfit Day,



What is Normal?

There are people that I have met whose life choices I don’t understand. Their normal is so outside my frame of reference as to appear insane. I can’t imagine the journey that lead them to the worldview they espouse and demonstrate.

The normal might include a parent who deprives herself of basic necessities and enjoyment so she can ensure that her adult children will receive a generous inheritance. Our kids have been told that “if there is anything left when we die, it was a mistake.”

The normal might be a man in his early 60’s (I call him Vince) who gets out of bed at 5:30 and despite his physical and mental illness gets on a bus to downtown , regardless of weather, to stand on the same corner with his hat extended and a smile on his face. After the morning rush, he gets on the bus and heads home from his job only to return for a second shift later in the afternoon.

The normal might be an executive who hasn’t really seen nor talked to his children in months because he is working 10,11,12 hours every day to ‘make ends meet’.

The normal might be a single mom struggling to keep her three kids clothed and schooled who accesses a school lunch program and shops where she gets the best bang for her bucks.

It might be a couple in their later years who supplement their retirement with risky (some would say) behaviour. Or the young man who bets it all on the spin of a wheel. Or the young woman who bets it all on the spin of an idea.

Is normal just perspective? Is it  just adaptation in the face of circumstances? Is it just a defensive reaction to stressors?

I recognize that I am not normal but I am ok with that and likely foster abnormal quirks from my perspective and in order to adapt.

Make Today Normal, whatever that means for you,