Being the best you can be requires that you listen to critics, hear what they are saying and don’t take it personally. Easy to say much harder to do. I have been accused of taking everything personally? Do you hear that refrain from family, friends, colleagues, strangers, or adversaries?
Assuming a neutral position in the face of negative (or positive) feedback requires significant commitment and ongoing practice. The chaos inside all our heads takes sides very quickly and either rushes to confirm the input or jump into a defensive posture. Ego is involved either that clouds the moment can evaporate. way. You are puffed up by praise (well deserved I am sure) or pounded down by criticism ( undeserved I am sure). But if you can breathe in the assessment without ownership, just recognition that is there then the drama can be held in abeyance. Holding the feedback lightly flushes the crap and opens a place for honest reflection. But again easy to say harder to do.
I am reading a book by Pedram Shojai “The Urban Monk” that is beginning to clear up some of the muck and helping me connect with the inner me that lives in the outside world. I love the idea that I don’t need to go into a hermitage or off to a mountain top to begin to find peace in all situations. I will keep you posted as I learn, struggle, and practice.
For today why don’t we both just continue to be aware of our breath and our stress and see if we can breathe into the gap.
Make Today Remarkable,
To say that the original “One Minute Manager” is a timeless classic seems silly but it has been one of the most read business books of the last thirty years. 13 Million sold and published in 37 languages speaks to the popularity and importance of this short work. So when IO received a notice from Becky Robinson – Weaving Influence that a new version was launching very soon (next week) I started thinking about where I was twenty years ago and how the book (among a few) helped shape me. To be honest, I hadn’t thought about one minute goals, one minute praises or one minute feedback, at least not consciously, for years.
Twenty years ago, I was doing a job, going to work every day, getting the job done – barely. I remember having an attitude of complacency and getting by. I didn’t feel the day-to-day was meaningful. Work to live. Blanchard was one of a few authors I read that changed by my attitude along with a practical approach to making the day-to-day productive and fun. It was a stress reducing, meaning making tool that I put away on a bookshelf.
I am anxious to get New One Minute Manager ; the new version for the new times where there seems to be so many distractions, pressures, and so many fewer person to person opportunities.
Make Today Remarkable, by praising someone,
Do you hear that many times every day? Once a day? A week? Never?
Are you appreciated for your efforts and contributions? Do you feel appreciated? Do you deserve to be appreciated?
There is no substitute for being appreciated and acknowledged. Margie Warrell says “It’s not about being ‘needy’ but simply feeling appreciated. There’s a distinct difference. In my work in organizations and in my life beyond it, I’ve yet to meet a person who felt over-encouraged, over-appreciated or over-praised. I do however, regularly encounter people who feel just the opposite. In fact, when running leadership programs, one of the most popular exercises is focused on giving and receiving acknowledgement and praise. So many… too many… people feel like their effort isn’t acknowledged and go to work everyday starved for appreciation. It’s not because they’re insecure or needy. It’s because they are human. ”
Daniel Pink has based a couple of books on the idea that once you meet the financial needs then autonomy, mastery and purpose are far greater motivators and satisfiers. Most people need to hear how the are becoming masters and filling a greater purpose. Performance reviews aren’t enough. Spontaneous, sincere praise should be part of all our days – both receiving and giving. Maybe it is a culture piece – if someone is recognizing the effort and results of others it might become contagious. Are you willing to be that someone all this week?
Go ahead, you are doing great.
Make Today Remarkable, for a colleague,