Tag: work

Original Thought · Self Improvement · Uncertainty

Is That a Knock at Your Door

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Today the rap might just be a tap-tap. It might sound like someone banging to get in. Are you ignoring the visitor? Her name is Opportunity and she brings you possibility and challenge. When you open the door and let her in she takes the permission and will be knocking at your door almost every day. She challenges you to do what you should and encourages you to do what you could and leads you to do what you must.

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ~ Thomas Edison
There have been many times that I heard her rapping and instead of welcoming her challenge, I bolted the door and pretended I wasn’t there. I remained still and quiet and actionless and supposedly safe. I have dealt with regret of missed opportunities by pushing myself to peek through the peephole and opening a crack to see what she brought. I haven’t accepted all or even most of the challenges but my courage grew to the point that I have taken up some of them. I learned something from all of them, even those where I didn’t succeed. There have been some enriching experiences that flowed from opening the door and I have become more comfortable with answering. The knock doesn’t cause apprehension anymore because I recognize Opportunity from our many encounters.

I think the adage that “opportunity only knocks once” is a crock.  If we ignore her, she knocks softly but is still there and when we greet her cautiously or enthusiastically she returns to bring us the abundance (hear experiences, relationships, impacts) that we feared.

Open the door this afternoon and listen to what she has for you.
B

Original Thought · Teamwork · Uncertainty

Partnerships

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What does it take to make a successful partnership? According to Chuck Marohn in his post on Strong Towns this morning there are four elements. 1. LIMITED AND QUANTIFIABLE RISK 2. MUTUAL SKIN IN THE GAME 3. A REALISTIC CHANCE FOR A POSITIVE RETURN 4. A PROPORTIONATE SHARE IN THE GAIN

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Chuck is referencing public-private partnerships that make our communities stronger. If you have an interest in the public domain, the post is well written and interesting. I am going to approach the four elements of a personal relationship/partnership lens. I am often asked how my beloved and I had managed 42 years together when we were really just kids when we got started. I often say ” to live happily ever after; you need to work hard every day on being in a respectful, reciprocal relationship.” Some days, it is my job to make her smile, and other days she forgives me when I make her frown. We share the best and the worst of our days with each other and I am learning that most of the time, I just need to listen and hear her. Over the years, we have worked out a rhythm for the daily, weekly and annual tasks that need to be accomplished. We share the load unequally on lots of days, but over the course of time, we achieve balance. So what would Marohn’s elements look like in a personal partnership? 1. Limited and quantifiable risks – In every relationship there are risks. If everything is certain and assured, it is probably failing. Communication helps mitigate risks. What is at stake if an agreement misses its mark because I misunderstood, misheard, or misrepresented my understanding, interest, and willingness? Can my partnership withstand multiple risks at the same time? If I promise to spend more time at home but stay at the office late into the evening four days a week, what are the odds that this will be the straw? Is there an easy to use way to ‘calculate’ the liability and risks. According to Bayes Rule, if I am deciding whether to head home at 5 or stop for drinks with some friends I should ask ” Will J be upset?” If I was going to bet that she would be miffed or angry would I wager $1.00 or $100? My intuition would tell me to place a big bet so I should head home and have a drink with her. If we are considering a major decision that has been discussed and debated, we should be able to use Bayes Rule to improve the odds of success and happiness.

Mutual skin in the game – “A true partnership never allows a situation of heads-I-win-tails-you-lose.” I seem to discover one of these easy to say harder to do quotes every day. At its most basic level, I need to elevate my partner’s needs and desires to the same level as mine. To do that I need to investigate what those needs and desires are. Asking awkward questions and listening to uncomfortable disclosure sets the tone for discovery and in the discovery is a possibility that we can both have our needs met, PS – I hate the concept of compromise because I have only seen it presented as a lowest common denominator. If we can work harder and be more transparent, we can find an as yet unimagined solution that serves both parties fully. Skin looks like honesty, communication, and reciprocity. Both parties need to do their share and graciously recognize the efforts and contributions of the other. Partnerships where one constantly serves and one constantly receives are doomed.

A realistic chance of a positive return – According to Statistics Canada, about 38 percent of all marriages taking place in 2004 will have ended in divorce by 2035. I admit that staying married may not be the realistic chance that some are considering and it may, in fact, be a pretty low bar. I naively believe that all partnerships have a realistic chance at the onset and the chance improves as effort, adaptation, and understanding increase.

A proportionate share of the gain – Gain isn’t necessarily financial or anything as easily measured. I believe, and research supports, that we both are and will live better and longer in our strong commitment to each other and in the ways that we make our coexistence work. Gain might be that one of us shovels walks and does laundry or arranges the social calendar and keeps up to date with friends and family. I can gain time to do stuff I love doing when I don’t need to do ironing, painting or home repairs. I need to make sure that my benefit doesn’t exceed the other person’s by too much or that I am feeling used and resentful about doing more than my share. Whether an intimate relationship, friendship or a more formal partnership, both parties need to understand the scope and accountabilities. We need to be open about concerns and listen to anxiety and unease of partners.
Partnerships certainly aren’t easy, and these four elements won’t maintain or repair every situation, but if you begin with caring and communication, you are likely on solid ground.

Make Today Remarkable for a partner,

B

Original Thought · Self Improvement

Curious

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I listened to an interview on Curious this morning that was taped in April 2016. W. Kamau Bell was just airing his CNN show that week and he reflected on the state of his country’s politics, economy and social structure.  He confessed that he lives in Berkley so his politics are as far from mainstream as he could get but his big three issues facing America during the campaign should be education, health care and prison systems. I live in Canada so am not subjected to the daily barrage of candidate messages but from my seat there hasn’t been any discussion about these issues, regardless of how right or left you lean. I haven’t heard any substance and worry for the future of American friends.

As is the custom on Curious, the guest is asked to speak to someone in the future and offer them advice as if you were no longer there to provide it. Kamau spoke to his daughter Sammie and reminded her ” that as bad as things are today, remember you need to keep hope in your heart and have some really good boots so you can get out and do the work”. On the eve of the eve, I am holding hope and urging the world to hold hope and am encouraging everyone to wake up on Wednesday, no Thursday and put your boots on and step out to make your corner of the world a better place.

B

Self Improvement

Intellegently Intentional

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Intentional action builds culture and culture trumps rules every time. If the changes you want in your world aren’t happening, you need to ask “am I acting as if they will, working as if I can move the needle, and am I in the right place with the right people?”
It is easier, quicker and more fun creating a positive culture of work, support, community rather than trying to change a toxic environment. Once the air stinks, no appoint of Febreeze will remove it unless the source of the odour is removed. If you are in a unhealthy or abusive arrangement a work, home or play it is likely that you will need to find an exit strategy to free yourself.
If you feel the air going bad, you can speak up and act out to build a world that works for everyone, including you. The time to build is before it turns sour and then realize that there needs to be constant vigilance in keeping the naysayers and scarcity soothsayers at bay by being honest, transparent, vocal and brave.
There is nothing organic about culture or relationships or community. We need to work hard every day to ensure that ‘happily ever after’ is a reality. That means listening when someone else is speaking, hearing what they are really saying, responding to their statement (not what you want the topic to be), allowing time, seeking clarification, being helpful, being honest, and being brave ( I repeat this here because bravery is in short supply in our world).

There will be tension – that is what gets us past the mediocre. There will be disagreement – that is what challenges and creates teaching moments. There will be insincerity – we are all fallible and insecure. There will be fun – that is bi-product of community that shares. There will be trials – how would we know the victories without some tests. There will be mistakes – awesome. There will not be a silver bullet, magic elixir, Android app that will make the work easy or convenient. If you are ‘in’, be ‘in’ for the long haul. Long isn’t for ever and the changing world we face ensures that everything likely as a much shorter best before date than we originally considered. Don’t take offense or wring your hands when things change and culture shifts or community dissolves. Celebrate the opportunity you have today to be the best communicator, career, challenger, and collaborator you can be – today.  But don’t beat yourself up too badly when you realize that on some (for me many) days you weren’t the best. Tomorrow is a fresh start. Learn from yesterday. Make any amends you need to make early in the fresh start. Rebuild relationships and recommit to understanding and respecting the culture you are swimming in. Step back of necessary and realize that you get to choose/create the atmosphere that you are inhaling and that it can make you wiser, nicer, and better or it can poison you and bring out your ego that wants to control, criticize, and crash the work you are doing.
Perseverance; the ability to commit and execute day after day isn’t easy but know that it is worthwhile. At the end of the day, at the end of our days, or maybe when we live through a great shift, the only thing that will have value is the community and reciprocity it brings. All material objects will wear out, lose value, or cause more grief than glee. Only in the way that we share our gifts in relationship, our concern in compassion and our joy in jubilation will stand the test of time.

Make Today Remarkable, by being intentional,
B

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Gotta Love It

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When a plan comes together even if it doesn’t execute the way you expect, you gotta love the guidance that a plan provides. Whether it is a list that helps you accomplish a day’s worth of tasks ora ten year plan like I wrote this morning, it offers some focus even when I know that the world is changing so quickly that what I see from today won’t be the same a year from now.

The plan I created focused on health, relationships, vocation, avocation, fun, and finance. As I wrote I began to fill in some detail as to what it would take to get to that strategic position on July 4 2026 and celebrated a bit the opportunity that is laid in front of me.

There was a focus on sustainability – are their enough resources, is it ecological within my values and does it have enough of a challenge to keep me motivated?

How does community interact with finances and how can we participate in the gift economy more fully. What role do I want to play in the vast relationships I have and can I do that from a distance? Where would the ‘from a distance’ be? Would it be one place or many? How could many happen?

I viewed ten years from now from the vantage point of today so my health plan is a maintenance program of what I am doing and the improvements the past three years have brought.

Part of the plan includes spending more time with people who are important to me so I am going to do that right now.

B

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What is Success

Bob McInnis1 Comment

When you win an argument, finish a project, or earn a promotion – is this success? If we measure success by momentary and temporary accomplishments will we be fulfilled?

There are consequences to all our action choices. If I succeed in winning an argument with my beloved but it leaves her feeling sad, how can that be positive? My ego is boosted by the win but my relationship is damaged too. If I work 70 hours a week for 6 months to finish an important project but my blood pressure and weight are dangerously high, is that good?

I have proposed that we have at least 7 elements in our life; Health, Fun. Relationships, Projects, Work, Financial, Spiritual. Don’t get caught up on the titles or definitions. The key is to observe how satisfied we are in each area and then noticing what the whole looks like. Most of us would see disharmony; one element high others low. One element dragging down others. One element taking away time, kinetic energy and reources while starving others. I don’t like to think of trying to balance these like a scale but rather seeking to honor each with care and attention. Success in one area is illusory if it comes at a cost in others.

 

There are many resources available to help find a rhythm that is harmonious and that creates success across your life wheel. If coaching is something that you would consider, contact me at bob@remarkablepeople.ca for a free 30 minute session.

 

Make Today Remarkable, by noticing,

B

 

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Good job!

Bob McInnis3 Comments

Good jobDo you hear that many times every day? Once a day? A week? Never?

Are you appreciated for your efforts and contributions? Do you feel appreciated? Do you deserve to be appreciated?

There is no substitute for being appreciated and acknowledged. Margie Warrell says “It’s not about being ‘needy’ but simply feeling appreciated. There’s a distinct difference.  In my work in organizations and in my life beyond it,  I’ve yet to meet a person who felt over-encouraged, over-appreciated or over-praised. I do however,  regularly encounter people who feel just the opposite. In fact, when running leadership programs, one of the most popular exercises is focused on giving and receiving acknowledgement and praise. So many… too many… people feel like their effort isn’t acknowledged and go to work everyday starved for  appreciation. It’s not because they’re insecure or needy. It’s because they are human. ”

Daniel Pink has based a couple of books on the idea that once you meet the financial needs then autonomy, mastery and purpose are far greater motivators and satisfiers. Most people need to hear how the are becoming masters and filling a greater purpose. Performance reviews aren’t enough. Spontaneous, sincere praise should be part of all our days – both receiving and giving. Maybe it is a culture piece – if someone is recognizing the effort and results of others it might become contagious.  Are you willing to be that someone all this week?

Go ahead, you are doing great.

Make Today Remarkable, for a colleague,

B

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Time

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Focus

What is the smallest change you can make right now  to improve your productivity? Move your chair closer, adjust your screen, drink some water? Do it? In the back of your mind ask the question again ” What is the smallest thing I can do to improve this situation?” In work, relationships, personal development there is daily room for small improvement. (Don’t I know it).

For me the smallest thing is almost always to focus on the moment. Keep focusing on the task at hand. Finish this sentence, this paragraph, this assignment.  Read deeply. Breathe deeply. Reflect.

My enemy is time – not that I have too little but that I never seem to rest in the moment. I have done all those tests to see if I live in time or through time and am not surprised that my preferred pattern is through time. This makes me on time for everything (because I leave the last discussion, task, place before it is finished (at least in my head)).

I am annoyed by people who are late for meetings with me. I feel they value their time more than mine but they likely are living in the moment and their presence in the last assignment, person or place was so complete that it ran long. I am also annoyed by those people who look over my shoulder in a conversation (I do it all the time) to see who is next to talk to. Those people who check their phone/watch and begin shuffling their notes and books into a neat pile have already moved away from the work, place, me. (I do it all the time)

The smallest thing I can do in every situation is apply focus to the moment (even for just a moment) and then try for another.

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Masquerade

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Originally published December 2/2007

rocks

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a

roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if

anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the

king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by

and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the

King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did

anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of

vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the

peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the

stone to the side of the road. After much pushing

and straining, he finally succeeded. After the

peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed

a purse lying in the road where the boulder had

been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note

from the King indicating that the gold was for the

person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The

peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve

our condition.

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Fight the Gravity of Mediocrity

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Sometimes it feels like my world is spinning out of control. Busyness captures me and I resort to tried and true rituals rather than exploring remarkable opportunities. In this place, in this time, with these people we should expect miracles but often seemed mired in mediocrity quicksand. Multitasking my way to bounded rationality where “I have too much to do” has been my refrain and excuse for not shipping my very best. My best intentions don’t seem to produce my best work. Only when I focus and deepen my efforts do I see the quality and results I am known to achieve.

Practice makes perfect – not likely. Poor practice delivers poor results.

My battle with mediocrity is the same one I have with procrastination. My important priorities don’t receive attention because I can always create something urgent (often more fun or easier) that looks important. The gravity pulls me to do something else, almost anything else – the laundry, checking Facebook, … When I set priorities for each day (I started with 3) and don’t just tick boxes but rather complete them deeply, fully and to the best of my ability, I celebrate.

Mark Twain said ‘Eat a live frog first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.’ I try get the most difficult task done first and when I succeed the Twain adage is true. I can feel myself pulling away from mediocrity towards miraculous. I feel better, lighter, readier. I am strengthened by the effort. After years of practice, this hasn’t become habitual and I need to remain vigilant or mediocrity invites me back.

Remarkable people use their strengths to strengthen themselves and others. When I am mired in the quicksand, up to my knees in  averageness, I am not strong. Today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow I am committed to being strengthened and breaking away from the pull. How about you, what miracle could you create in three days?

 

Make Today, Tomorrow and the Next Remarkable,

 

Bob

Edit – just received notice that the master of productivity David Allen is hosting GTD Fundamentals next month for those who are serious about getting out of the quicksand.

frogs